介绍:
My friend Linda recently met a tall, handsome and well-educated man. After several meetings and lengthy conversations, she was attracted to him. The man also showed an interest in her.
我的朋友琳达最近邂逅了一位高大英俊、受过良好教育的男性。在见过几次面和长时间的互撩之后，她完全被迷住了。那个男人似乎对她也有意思。
But when she mentioned him to her parents, she was discouraged. "A handsome man isn’t reliable and does not suit you. He must have so many attractive qualities," said her parents.
但是当琳达向父母提到这个男人时，她深受打击。她父母对她说：“长得帅的男人靠不住，不适合你。他太容易招桃花了。”
Linda’s experience isn’t an isolated case. It represents the Chinese reality. Many of my female friends are trying to find a lover who is "tall, rich and handsome," and their parents are opposing them every step of the way.
琳达的经历并不是个案，这代表了中国的现实。我许多女性朋友都想找一个“高富帅”爱人，但是她们的父母却在每一步都和她们作对。
In their parents’ eyes, marriage is not about attraction, but about a sense of security. According to their logic, it’s better for their daughter to choose a partner who isn’t that excellent rather than risk finding a lover that is too good and would possibly betray her.
在她们父母眼里，婚姻无关风月，而是一种安全感。按照他们的逻辑，他们的女儿最好选择一个不那么优秀的男人，而不要冒险选择一个太过优秀的伴侣——因为他可能背叛她。
The parents of my male friends have a different mindset. They don’t warn their sons when they date a woman whose outward appearance and other attributes seem better than their son’s.
而我男性朋友的父母们则怀有不同的心态。当他们儿子的对象外表非常美丽、条件比他们儿子更好时，他们不会劝诫他放弃。
I have a male friend who recently married a woman who seems much better than him. When his parents met her as his then girlfriend, they immediately urged him to marry her.
我一个男性朋友最近娶了一个条件看起来比他好得多的女人。当他们结婚之前见家长时，他的父母立刻鼓励他娶她。
His mother has a theory: Although women’s status has risen, they are still not seen as equal to men. Take marriage as an example. Women who enter into marriage are expected to play the role of a good wife and spend more time doing household chores, especially after they give birth.
他的母亲自有一套说法：虽然女性的地位提升了，她们还是和男性不平等。拿婚姻为例，结婚的女人应该扮演一个好妻子的角色，而且应该花更多时间做家务，尤其是在生了孩子之后。
At the same time, men seem to be exempt from doing chores. They can still spend most of their time outside and only act as the breadwinner. Trapped in the family, women are like a "depreciating commodity," while men can greatly preserve what they used to be.
与此同时，男人似乎可以免于做家务。他们仍然可以花大量时间在外潇洒，只要扮演好养家糊口的角色就行。女人被困在家庭中，就好像一件贬值的商品，而男人则可以很大限度地保值。
The whole society still has a hostile attitude toward older single women. What’s more, the overall environment in China is still unfriendly to divorced women.
整个社会仍然对大龄单身女性持敌视态度，更重要的是，中国的整体环境仍然对离婚妇女不友好。
Because of this, parents think it’s better to choose a not-that-attractive man to guarantee the security of marriage.
因此，父母们认为女人最好找一个不那么优秀的丈夫，从而保证婚姻的安全。
But I can’t agree. Security is what a woman gives to herself. Outward appearances aside, what’s important is that you two are spiritually equal.
但是我实在不敢苟同。安全是女人自己争取的，抛开外表，重要的是两人精神上的平等。
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