介绍:
离婚的爸爸和批萨硬边
离婚的爸爸和批萨硬边之间的联系
是可以理解的。离婚的爸爸做饭时
是没有自信的。他想要小孩享受用餐。
整个的周末应当是开心的。小孩们爱批萨。
温软柔顺的东西因为某种原因参与进来
只是不知道为什么小孩在喜欢吃其他奶酪之前，
先接受了批萨上熔化的奶酪。
所以离婚的爸爸把小孩和朋友们带到外面吃批萨。
小孩们吃得比爸爸快。
在爸爸吃完第二牙批萨之前
孩子们已经在玩电子游戏，或者成为了神探飞机头
或者用吸管吹唾沫粘成的纸团，冰雹一样
到处都是没法收拾。还剩下四牙批萨，
离婚的爸爸不想浪费它们，
因为垃圾已经够多了；他坐在那里，
穿着他的风衣吃完批萨。这些都还好，
只是吃那些批萨硬边不是很享受——
在吃完第二牙之后它们已经成为苦差使——
所以你抛弃它们。你拿起另一牙完整的批萨。
最终你会置身于一堆批萨硬边之中。
所有这些都是可以理解的。没有什么黑暗阴谋参与其中。
同时小孩们玩得相当开心，
这就足够了。所以整个夜晚
都没有逃出理智的范围。所以离婚的爸爸
收集好沾上了酱汁的餐巾纸倒进垃圾筒
也把一推批萨硬边倒进去，
它们并不是战场上的尸体。“可理解性”充满
了批萨店，以至于这里再也无法
装下任何东西。现在他站在门口召唤小孩们
小孩听他的，当然会听，因为他是爸爸。
Divorced Fathers and Pizza Crusts
The connection between divorced fathers and pizza crusts
is understandable. The divorced father does not cook
confidently. He wants his kid to enjoy dinner.
The entire weekend is supposed to be fun. Kids love
pizza. For some reason involving soft warmth and malleability
kids approve of melted cheese on pizza
years before they will tolerate cheese in other situations.
So the divorced father takes the kid and the kid&`&s friend
out for pizza. The kids eat much faster than the dad.
Before the dad has finished his second slice,
the kids are playing a video game or being Ace Ventura
or blowing spitballs through straws, making this hail
that can&`&t quite be cleaned up. There are four slices left
and the divorced father doesn&`&t want them wasted,
there has been enough waste already; he sits there
in his windbreaker finishing the pizza. It&`&s good
except the crust is actually not so great—
after the second slice the crust is basically a chore—
so you leave it. You move on to the next loaded slice.
Finally there you are amid rims of crust.
All this is understandable. There&`&s no dark conspiracy.
Meanwhile the kids are having a pretty good time
which is the whole point. So the entire evening makes
clear sense. Now the divorced father gathers
the sauce-stained napkins for the trash and dumps them
and dumps the rims of crust which are not
corpses on a battlefield. Understandability
fills the pizza shop so thoroughly there&`&s no room
for anything else. Now he&`&s at the door summoning the kids
and they follow, of course they do, he&`&s a dad.
作者 / [美国]马克·哈利迪
朗读 / 烃烃
出品 / 读首诗再睡觉
(微信号：dushoushizaishuijiao)
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