介绍:
应聘面试之前的自我问讯加里·索托你刚才打喷嚏了？是的，我在把装成我的那个人排出体外。你熨烫你的衬衫了吗？是的，我用的是妈妈蒸腾的怒气。你洗手了吗？是的，我从一只浣熊那里学到了卫生习惯。我恳求着我的膝盖，我的膝盖用疼痛作答。我漱了口。我擦亮皮鞋直到它映出我的样子。我用自己的全称胀满了简历。一大早，我就走向我的面试点，太阳就像电烤箱上面的金戒指。当穿过旋转门的大风时我整了整头发。保安说：能看出来你来干啥——19楼。经济在上扬。在美国，每个城市广场上都有旗子在啪啪响。我在电梯上看到了这些。电梯是空的因为除了我以外谁都在工作。你洗干净你的耳朵没？是的，我在水龙头说的胡话里面听出了自己的命运。你把香蕉混在玉米糊糊里了吗？我还加了一小撮盐，两个葡萄干以清新我的呼吸。你记得带钢笔了吗？当电梯门开的时候我记起只带了手指头。我握了那双汗流如肮脏海洋的手。我找到了一桌一椅，还有写着我名字的标签。透过玻璃天花板，我看到了CEO们沉重的屁股。在窗户外面，太阳就像一个火炉，我们不停地把纸推进去，让它能一直熊熊燃烧。Self-Inquiry before the Job InterviewBY GARY SOTODid you sneeze?Yes, I rid myself of the imposter inside me.Did you iron your shirt?Yes, I used the steam of mother's hate.Did you wash your hands?Yes, I learned my hygiene from a raccoon.I prayed on my knees, and my knees answered with pain.I gargled. I polished my shoes until I saw who I was.I inflated my résumé by employing my middle name.I walked to my interview, early,The sun like a ring on an electric stove.I patted my hair when I entered the wind of a revolving door.The guard said, For a guy like you, it's the 19th floor.The economy was up. Flags whipped in every city plazaIn America. This I saw for myself as I rode the elevator,Empty because everyone had a job but me.Did you clean your ears?Yes, I heard my fate in the drinking fountain's idiotic drivel.Did you slice a banana into your daily mush?I added a pinch of salt, two raisins to sweeten my breath.Did you remember your pen?I remembered my fingers when the elevator opened.I shook hands that dripped like a dirty sea.I found a chair and desk. My name tag said my name.Through the glass ceiling, I saw the heavy rumps of CEOs.Outside my window, the sun was a burning stove,All of us pushing papersTo keep it going.
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