介绍:
文章内容+翻译如下↓
So I'd like to start, if I may, by asking you some questions. If you've ever lost someone you truly love, ever had your heart broken, ever struggled through an acrimonious divorce, or been the yictim of infidelity, please stand up. If standing up isn't accessibleito you, you can put your hand up. Please, stay standing, and keep your hand up there.
如果可以的话，我想先问大家几个问题，如果你曾失去过爱人，曾经历过心碎，曾经历过一场沸沸扬扬的离婚，或曾因婚姻里的不忠受伤，麻烦站起来。如果不方便站起来的话可以举手。麻烦保持站立，将手举好。
If you've ever lived through a natural disaster, been bullied or been made
redundant, stand on up.
如果你曾遭遇自然灾害，遭受过凌辱或经历过裁员，请起立。
裁员
If you've ever had a miscarriage if you've ever had an abortion or struggled
through infertility, please stand up.
如果你流过产，曾堕过胎，或因不孕不育而感到困扰，请站起来。
have a mniscarrãage
Finally, if you, or anyone you love, has had to cope with mental illness,
dementia, some form of physical impairment, or cope with suicide, please
stand up.
最后，如果你，或你爱的人，不得不经受精神疾病、痴呆症，某种身体残阳
或自杀的困扰，请站起来。
Look around you. Adversity doesn't discriminate. If you are alive, you are
going to have to, or you've already had to, deal with some tough times. Thank
you, everyone, take a seat.
看看你的周围。逆境从不歧视。人只要活着，就总会经历或已经经历了一些
艰难的时期。谢谢大家，请就坐。
I started studying resilience research a decade ago, at the University of
Pennsylvania in Philadelphia. It was an amazing time to be there, because the
professors who trained me had just picked up the contract to train all 1.1
million American soldiers to be as mentally fit as they always have been
physically fit.
大概从十几年前开始，我就开始在费城的宾夕法尼亚大学研究心理韧性。在那 里我度过了一段精彩的时光，因为带我的教授们当时正好接下了一个项目，要去训练110万美国军人，使他们在精神上也能像肉体般强壮。
As you can imagine, you don't get a much more skeptical discerning audience than the American drill sergeants returning from Afganistan. So for someone like me, whose main quest in life is trying to work out how we take the best of scientific findings out of academia and bring them to people in their everyday lives, it was a pretty inspiring place to be.
你能想象得到，不会再有比从阿富汗回来的美军军官怀疑心更重的听众了。因此，对于像我这样，致力于将学术研究成果应用到日常，并以此为最重要的使命的人来说，那是一个很具启发性的地方。
I finished my studies in America, and I returned home here to Christchurch
to start my doctoral research. I'd just begun that study when the
Christchurch earthquakes hit. So I put my research on hold, and I started
working with my home community to help them through that terriblepost-quake period.
结束了在美国的学习之后，我回到了新西兰，也就是这里，我的家乡基督城，继续我的博士后研究项目。研究工作刚开始不久，基督城就发生了地震（2011年新西兰大地震）。于是我放下手头上的研究，与家乡的同伴一起，努力度过这段糟糕的震后时期。
I worked with all sorts of organizations from government departments to building companies, and all sorts of community groups, teaching them the ways of thinking and acting that we know boost resilience. I thought that was my calling. My moment to put all of that research to good use. But sadly, I
was wrong.
我与各类组织都建立了合作，从政府部门到建筑公司，及各种社区组织，教导他们增强心理韧性的思维及行为模式。我以为这就是我的使命。我终于可以将这些年的研究付诸实践。然而，很遗憾，我错了。
For my own true test came in 2014 on Queen's Birthday weekend. We and
two other families had decided to go down to Lake Ohau and bike the outs to
ocean. At the last minute, my beautiful 12-year-old daughter Abi decided to
hop in the car with her best friend, Ella, also 12, and Ella's mom, Sally, a
dear, dear friend of mine. On the way down, as they traveled through Rakaia on Thompsons Track, a car sped through a stop sign, crashing into them and killing all three of them instantly.
真正的考验发生在2014年女王生日的那个周末。我们和其他两个家庭决定先开车到奥豪湖，然后再骑车到海边。临行前，我12岁的漂亮女儿艾比决定跟她的同龄好朋友艾拉坐同一辆车，还有艾拉的母亲莎莉，我非常非常好的朋友。一路往下开着，正要经过汤普森步道上的拉凯阿峡道，一辆车加速驶过停止标记，撞向了她们的车，导致她们三人当场身亡。
In the blink of an eye, I find myself flung to the other side of the equation,waking up with a whole new identity. Instead of being the resilience expert,suddenly, I'm the grieving mother. Waking up not knowing who I am, trying to wrap my head around unthinkable news, my world smashed to
smithereens. Suddenly, I'm the one on the end of all this expert advice. And I
can tell you, I didn't like what I heard one little bit.
眨眼之间，我发现自己不再是之前的自己，而是以一个新的身份存在。我不再是一个心理韧性的专家，突然间，我成了一名悲伤的母亲。醒来时已经不知道自己是谁，只想着捂住头，不去想，不去管，我的世界已经崩溃了。突然间，我才是需要专家意见的那一个。并且可以告诉你们，我什么意见也不想听。
In the days after Abi died, we were told we were now prime candidates for family estrangement. That we were likely to get divorced and we were at high risk of mental illness. "Wow," I remember thinking, "Thanks for that, I
though my life was already pretty shit."
艾比死后，我们被告知，我们已经成为家庭疏离的主要受害者。我们很有可能会因此离婚，且很有可能会患上精神疾病。“哇，”我记得当时心想，“真谢谢了，我以为我的生活已经够糟糕的了。”
Leaflets described the five stages of grief: anger, bargaining, denial,
depression, acceptance. Victim support arrived at our door and told us that
we could expect to write off the next five years to grief. I know the leaflets
and the resources meant well. But in all of that advice, they left us feeling like victims. Totally overwhelmed by the journey ahead, and powerless to exert any influence over our grieving whatsoever. I didn't need to be told how bad things were. Believe me, I already knew things were truly terrible. What I needed most was hope. I needed a journey through all that anguish, pain andlonging. Most of all, I wanted to be an active participant in my grief process.我收到的宣传单上描述了悲痛的五个阶段：愤怒、抗拒、否定、抑郁、接受。受害者资助服务人员来到我们家门口，让我们做好准备，接下来的五年，我们可能会在悲痛中度过。我明白这些传单还有资源是为我们好。然而所有的这些建议只会让我们感觉像是受害者，让我们对前路感到不知所措，无论如何也无力去摆脱这场悲痛带来的影响。我不需要别人来提醒我这一切有多糟糕了。相信我，我已经知道事情真的很糟糕。但我最需要的是一点希望。我需要一趟旅程去消化所有的愤怒、伤痛及思念。尤其是，我希望在我经历悲痛的过程中成为一名积极的参与者。
So I decided to turn my back on their advice and decided instead to conduct
something of a self-experiment. I'd done the research, I had the tools, I
wanted to know how useful they would be to me now in the face of such an enormous mountain to climb. Now, I have to confess at this point, I didn't really know that any of this was going to work. Parental bereavement is
widely acknowledged as the hardest of losses to bear. But I can tell you now,five years on, what I already knew from the research. That you can rise up from adversity, that there are strategies that work, that it is utterly possible to make yourself think and act in certain ways that help you navigate tough times.
因此，我决定抛开他们所给的建议，而是开始进行一项自我试验。研究我已经做了，工具也有了，我想知道的是，当要攀登一座如此巨大的高山时，它们能多有效。现在，我必须承认，我并不知道这样做是不是真的有用。丧亲之痛已经被广泛认为是最无法承受的失去。但我现在可以告诉你，五年过后，我从研究中收获了什么。那就是你可以从逆境中站起来，有方法可以让你做到。你完全可以改变自己的思维及行为模式，借此来度过这段艰难的日子。
