介绍:
“Your Election Day essays were fantastic,” Mr. Klutz told our class the next morning. He had a big bandage wrapped around his head. I’m guessing he must have either crashed his skateboard again or found another flagpole to fall off.
“Thank you!” we all said.
“But I was a little surprised by the number of spelling errors I found in them,” he continued. “We need to improve the spelling at our school. So here is what I have decided to do. If you students can write out a list of one hundred thousand spelling words by Thanksgiving, I will dress up in a turkey costume and ride a pogo stick down Main Street.”
“Yayyyyyyy!” everybody hollered.
“How about one thousand spelling words?” shouted Ryan.
“One hundred thousand spelling words,” Mr. Klutz repeated. “That’s my final offer. Take it or leave it. And every word must be spelled correctly. Have a nice day.”
During lunch, I was sure that Andrea was going to start her list of spelling words just to show how smart she was. But she didn’t. She just kind of sat there, picking at her food quietly. “You know, I’ve been thinking,” she finally said. “I’m beginning to wonder if something might be wrong with Mr. Klutz.”
“Like what?” Emily asked.
“Maybe he has some kind of a personal problem.”
“What do you mean?” Michael asked. “Mr. Klutz is a cool guy. Would you rather have a boring principal?”
“My mother is a psychologist,” Andrea said, “and she says that people sometimes do weird things for reasons that are buried deep within their mind.”
“What does that mean?” I asked.
“It means she thinks Mr. Klutz is nuts,” said Michael.
“I didn’t say that,” Andrea went on. “All I’m saying is that maybe he didn’t want to climb up the flagpole. Maybe he doesn’t want to put on a turkey costume. Maybe he just wants people to like him, and the only way he knows to show that is to do nutty things. Maybe he’s a sad, unhappy man. Maybe all he wants is a hug or something.”
“That’s the saddest story I ever heard!” Emily said. Then she started sobbing.
Me, Ryan, and Michael looked at one another. We all rolled our eyes up in our heads.
“Mr. Klutz is cool,” Ryan said. “You’re the one who has some kind of a personal problem, Andrea.”
“Maybe Mr. Klutz is nuts,” I said. “In
fact, maybe he’s not a principal at all. Did you ever think of that? Maybe Mr. Klutz escaped from a home for the criminally insane and he’s just pretending to be a principal. Maybe our real principal is tied up to a chair in the dungeon down in the basement. My friend Billy told me—”
“There is no dungeon down in the basement,” Emily insisted. “That’s just one of those urban legends.”
“Sure, that’s just what he wants us to believe!” I told Emily. “He doesn’t want us to know our real principal is tied up to a chair down there. He probably tortures him during summer vacation.”
“I think you guys are nuts,” Emily said.
“I’m worried about Mr. Klutz,” Andrea said, biting her fingernails.
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