介绍:
We marched around the playground for about a million hundred hours. Finally the dumb parade was over and we could go home.
Or at least I thought we could go home. First we all had to go back inside the school and sit in the all-purpose room.
There was a fancy chair up on the stage. It was like one of those chairs you see in a palace.
When all the classes were seated, music started playing and some tall guy came into the all-purpose room dressed up like a king. He was wearing a gold cape, and he was holding a big sword.
It was Mr. Klutz, our principal! Even though he was wearing a crown on his head, I knew it was him because he is completely bald. I mean completely.
“Off with their heads!” Mr. Klutz shouted as he marched down the center aisle. “Let them eat cake!”
Miss Daisy told us that, in the old days, kings were constantly chopping off people’s heads and making them eat cake. That must have been a cool time to live. I like to eat cake, but I don’t think I would like the chopping-off-your-head part very much.
''I rule the school,” Mr. Klutz announced as he sat in the fancy chair. “Quiet down or you will be thrown in the dungeon in the basement.”
That was a complete lie. Everybody knows the dungeon is on the third floor.
“Cool costume, Mr. Klutz!” some kid yelled.
“Silence!” Mr. Klutz hollered. “I know not this Klutz person of whom you speak. I am King Louis the Fourteenth of France.”
“Why are you dressed up like a king?” Ryan asked.
“As king,” he replied, “I need not worry about parent-teacher conferences and behavior problems and head lice and bus schedules and test scores. I am all powerful. What I say goes.”
Mr. Klutz was talking just like a real king. It was cool.
After he finished acting all kinglike, he talked to us about Halloween safety. He told us to have fun trick-or-treating, but to look both ways before we crossed the street. He said we shouldn’t go inside any strange houses, and we shouldn’t eat any candy that isn’t wrapped up.
“What should we do if we come to a house and they don’t give us any candy?” asked one of the third graders.
“Off with their heads!” said Mr. Klutz. “What if some kids don’t get any candy?” asked one of the first graders. “Let them eat cake!”
Mr. Klutz enjoyed being king a little too much, if you ask me.
I couldn’t wait to get out of school because, well, I can’t wait to get out of school every day. But this day was special because we would be going trick-or-treating and getting candy.
Finally the bell rang and we got out of jail . . . I mean, school. Everybody poured out the front door.
“Free at last!” Michael shouted. “It’s candy time!” Ryan yelled.
Mrs. Patty was standing on the front steps of the school in her witch costume. Her wart still didn’t fall off. She told us again that we should make sure to trick-or-treat at her house because she has more candy than anyone in town.
“And remember,” she said, “don’t let the Halloween Monster catch
you.”
The what?
''I’ve never heard of the Halloween Monster,” I said.
“Oh sure,” said Mrs. Patty. “Every year the Halloween Monster chops up kids, steals their candy, and keeps it for himself.”
Yikes! The Halloween Monster? I looked at Michael. Michael looked at Ryan. Ryan looked at me. Then we all tore out of there as fast as we could.
''I’ve never heard of the Halloween Monster,” I said.
“Oh sure,” said Mrs. Patty. “Every year the Halloween Monster chops up kids, steals their candy, and keeps it for himself.”
Yikes! The Halloween Monster? I looked at Michael. Michael looked at Ryan. Ryan looked at me. Then we all tore out of there as fast as we could.
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