介绍:
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are entering carrying groceries and find Phoebe already there standing in front of a huge object that has been gift wrapped.]
Phoebe: Hey! I got you a present!!
Chandler: Oh my goodness! Where did you hide it?
Phoebe: I got it for your wedding and I ordered it weeks ago, and it finally got here!
Chandler: Pheebs you didn’t have to get us anything for our wedding you already sang…
Monica: (interrupting) I love it! It’s huge!! Let’s open it! Open it!! (Monica rips open the paper.)
Phoebe: It’s a Ms. Pac-Man machine!!
Monica: Oh my God!
Phoebe: I didn’t know where to put it so I just left it here for now.
Monica: Oh well, maybe we can put it in the guest bedroom.
Chandler: Oh, okay.
Monica: All right. (He goes to push it and it doesn’t move.)
Chandler: I kinda like it here.
Phoebe: Do you really like it?
Monica: Are you kidding?! I practically spent my entire childhood at the arcade! This is like—Oh my, this is like my second favorite game!
Phoebe: Oh really? What was your first?
Monica: Well I-I really don’t remember the name of it.
Chandler: Well what did it do?
Monica: Well, you just—you put a quarter in and y’know pull-pull some handles and win like a candy bar or something.
Chandler: A vending machine?
Monica: Don’t feel bad for me! I won like every time!
Opening Credits
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Rachel are there as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey! Oh, I’m so glad you guys are here. I’ve been dying to tell someone what happened in the Paleontology department today.
Joey: (To Rachel) Do you think he saw us or can we still sneak out?
Ross: Professor Neuman, the head of the department, so….
Rachel: They made you head of the department!
Ross: No, I get to teach one of his advanced classes! (Pause) Why didn’t I get head of the department? (Goes and gets some coffee.)
Joey: Oh! Hey Rach, listen umm…
Rachel: Yeah.
Joey: I got a big date coming up, do you know a good restaurant?
Rachel: Uh, Paul’s Café. They got great food and it’s really romantic.
Joey: Ooh, great! Thanks!
Rachel: Yeah! Oh, and then afterwards you can take her to the Four Seasons for drinks. Or you go downtown and listen to some jazz. Or dancing—Oh! Take her dancing!
Joey: You sure are naming a lot of ways to postpone sex, I’ll tell ya…
Rachel: Ooh, I miss dating. Gettin’ all dressed up and going to a fancy restaurant. I’m not gonna be able to do that for so long, and it’s so much fun! I mean not that sitting at home worrying about giving birth to a sixteen pound baby is not fun.
Joey: Hey, y’know what?
Rachel: Huh?
Joey: Why don’t I take you out?
Rachel: What?! Joey, you don’t want to go on a date with a pregnant lady.
Joey: Yes I do! And we’re gonna go out, we’re gonna have a good time, and take your mind off of child birth and c-sections and-and giant baby heads stretching out…
Rachel: (interrupting) Okay! I’ll go with ya! I’ll go! I’ll go with ya.
Joey: I’ll be fun.
Rachel: All right?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is watching Phoebe play Ms. Pac-Man.]
Phoebe: No. No! Yes! Ahh. Oh, would you look at that Monica? I just knocked off all of your top scores, how sad.
Monica: Okay, I’m next. (Phoebe starts another game.) Don’t! Don’t start another game! I said I’m next! Phoebe!
Phoebe: Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you over all the winning.
Monica: Chandler! Phoebe’s hogging the game!
Chandler: Who cares? It’s a stupid game.
Monica: You only think it’s stupid because you suck at it.
Chandler: I don’t suck. It’s sucks. You suck.
Phoebe: Wait okay, if this game is gonna cause problems between the two of you, then maybe I should just keep it.
Monica: No! No-no! I love it! It is a great present! In fact, why don’t you go home and wait for the thank you card?
Chandler: Why do you want to play this game so bad?
Phoebe: Yeah! It’s not like it spits out a Clark bar after every game.
Monica: Okay. Phoebe that’s it. Come on, get out—out of the chair. Get out! (She goes to move Phoebe, but Phoebe goes limp and Monica can’t move her.) Oh come…Phoebe!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is getting ready for her date with Joey as there is a knock on the door.]
Rachel: Joey? Could you get that? (There is no answer and she goes and opens the door to Joey.) What are you doing here? I thought you were in your room?
Joey: No, I’m picking you up for our date. These are for you. (Hands her some flowers.)
Rachel: Ohh, Lilies. Joey, they’re my favorite. Thank you.
Joey: And, a brownie! (Hands her a bag with the brownie in it.) Well, half a brownie. Actually, it’s just bag. It’s been a long walk from the flower shop and I was startin’ to feel faint so…
Rachel: Oh man! This is so great! I actually feel like I’m going on a real date! Although, I have a hint of morning sickness, and I’m wearing underwear that goes up to about…(She snaps the waistband on her underwear that is just slightly below her breasts)…there.
Joey: Hey come on now, this is a real date. Uh, so…nice place you got here. Foosball, huh? Pizza box. Oh, a subscription to Playboy, my kind of woman.
Rachel: Yeah, actually that’s my roommate’s.
Joey: I would like to meet him. He sounds like a stand up guy.
Rachel: Ah yes, but he’s very protective of me so you’d better watch yourself.
Joey: Ah… Hey, so this roommate of yours…is he good looking?
Rachel: Hm-mmm.
Joey: Oh yeah, it must be tough to keep your hands of him, huh?
Rachel: (laughs) Yeah, but I’m pretty sure he’s gay.
Joey: No-no-no-no, he’s not! No! Why are you trying to ruin the game? Come on!
[Scene: N.Y.U, Ross is teaching a class.]
Ross: …which brings us back of course to Greely’s theory of dominance. (The bell rings.) Okay, that-that’s all for today. Oh, uh does anyone know where the Freeman building is?
Student: Yeah, it’s the new building on Avenue A.
Ross: What?! That-that’s all the way cross town, I’m supposed to teach a graduate seminar there in ten minutes.
Student: Ooh, dude. That’s not gonna happen.
(Ross grabs his things and runs to the door only to be blocked by his exiting students.)
Ross: Move it! Move it! Move it!! Hey!!! I’m the teacher!!
[Scene: The Freeman Building, Ross is entering his new class completely out of breath.]
Ross: Hello. (He throws his jacket towards the coat rack and misses.) I’m sorry I’m a little late. Ah—(Checks his watch)—Whoa! A lot late. Let me start by uh, by introducing myself, I am Professor Geller. (The bell rings.) So to sum up, I’m Professor Geller. Good job today.
[Scene: A Restaurant, a waitress is taking Joey and Rachel’s dinner order.]
Rachel: Now the filet mignon, what comes with that?
Waitress: There’s a side of steamed vegetables.
Rachel: Emmm. Now, instead of the vegetables, is there anyway I can substitute the three-pound lobster?
Joey: Y’know what? Bring her both, and I’ll have the same. (The waitress leaves.)
Rachel: Wow! This is shaping up to be a pretty good date—Oh, I almost forgot. I didn’t pay you the rent check.
Joey: Oh whoa-whoa-whoa, no roommate stuff. Okay? We’re on a date.
Rachel: Okay. Wow! So I get to see what Joey Tribbiani is like on a date. So do you have any moves?
Joey: No! No. Umm, just myself and if they don’t like me for—(Laughs.) I’m sorry I couldn’t even get through that.
Rachel: I knew it! I knew it. Come on tell me your moves.
Joey: Oh alright. Umm, well, okay, I usually start by having a bottle of wine sent to my table from a fan.
Rachel: Oh my God. And that works?!
Joey: Well it does when you combine it with, "This is so embarrassing, I just want to have a normal life!"
Rachel: Oh, you poor little famous man.
Joey: Oh okay, how about this one. I was gonna wait until the end of the night to kiss you, but you’re so beautiful…I don’t think I can.
Rachel: (looks interested) Oh my God! Wow! That was fantastic, I almost leaned in. I really almost did!
Joey: Alright, so…so tell me one of your moves.
Rachel: Alright. So where’d you grow up?
Joey: That’s your move? Boy Rach, you’re lucky you’re hot.
Rachel: Come on, just answer the question!
Joey: (exasperated) Queens.
Rachel: And so were-were you close to your parents?
Joey: Yeah, with my mom. Yeah, not so much with my dad.
Rachel: Why not?
Joey: I don’t know. I guess there’s just always been this distance y’know—I mean we both try to pretend it’s not there, but it is.
Rachel: (sympathetic) Oh. (Starts rubbing his wrist with her fingers.) It’s gotta be rough.
Joey: Yeah, it is. It’s really tough. Y’know sometimes I think—Wow!! Nice move!
Rachel: Huh?
Joey: "Where’d you grow up," it’s so simple!
Rachel: Thank you! And now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go to the rest room.
Joey: Yeah.
(Rachel gets up and heads for the rest room.)
Rachel: And now you’re watching me walk away.
Joey: Yes I am! Again so simple!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is entering to find Chandler playing Ms. Pac-Man.]
Monica: Hey.
Chandler: You are not going to believe what I did today!
Monica: Well it clearly wasn’t showering or shaving.
Chandler: I got good. I played this game all day and now I rule at it! They should change the name of it to Ms. Chandler. (Pause) Although I-I hope they don’t.
Monica: Wait a minute, you stayed home all day and played Ms. Pac-Man while I went off to work like some kind of chump?!
Chandler: Uh-huh, and I got all the top ten scores, I erased Phoebe off the board! High five! (Holds up his hand to give Monica a high five, only he can’t straighten his fingers.)
Monica: What is the matter with your hand?
Chandler: Well I’ve been playing it for like eight hours, it’ll loosen up. Come on, check out the scores. Oh, and also look at the initials, they’re dirty words.
Monica: Chandler, why would you do that?
Chandler: Because it’s awesome.
Monica: You think this is clever?
Chandler: Well y’know, they only give you three letters, so after A-S-S it is a bit of a challenge.
Monica: Hey wait a minute, this one isn’t dirty.
Chandler: It is when you put it together with that one.
Monica: Ah, well if you don’t clear this off, you won’t be getting one of those from me. But Ben’s coming over here tomorrow to play this game, this can’t be there.
Chandler: Come on, he won’t even know what they mean.
Monica: Chandler! He’s seven; he’s not stupid.
Chandler: Have you talked to him lately?
Monica: All right, look I’m just gonna unplug it.
Chandler: No-no-no, if you unplug it, I’ll have nothing to show for my day! It would be like I was at work. (She unplugs it.) No! (And plugs it back in.) Hey look at that! Look at that, it’s still there! This thing must have some kind of primitive ROM (Read Only Memory, it’s a memory chip.) Chip in it or something!
Monica: Honey you-you got to beat your scores!
Chandler: With the claw?!
Monica: All right fine. Fine, I’ll do it. I’ve just got to get this off the screen. Carol and Susan are still upset that you taught him pull my finger.
Chandler: (smiles) Pull my finger—(Looks at his hand)—My hand is messed up.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Rachel are returning from their date.]
Rachel: I am not gonna answer that!
Joey: Oh come on! Just pick one! Between Monica, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross if you had to, if you had to, who would you punch?
Rachel: No one! They are my friends, I wouldn’t punch any of them.
Joey: Chandler?
Rachel: Yeah, but I don’t know why. Look at me, I’m having such a wonderful time!
Joey: Me too! Hey Rach, can I just say I think this is the best date I ever had!
Rachel: I know!
Joey: I never laughed so hard—Did you see the wine come out of my nose?
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