打破成见，做自己的英雄 · 永清

为你读英语美文·第325期：打破成见，做自己的英雄 | 为你读一封出柜信 主播：永清 坐标：北京 公众号首播 Dear Mama, 亲爱的妈妈， I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to write. 很抱歉现在才写这封信。 I have friends who think I’m foolish to write this letter. I hope they’re wrong. I hope their doubts are based on parents who love and trust them less than mine do. 我有朋友觉得我写这封信很蠢，我希望他们是错的。我希望他们有顾忌是因为他们的父母不想我的父母这般爱我，信任我。 I wouldn’t have written, I guess, if you hadn’t told me about your involvement in the Save Our Children campaign. 我本来不想写这封信，我想，如果您没告诉我参加了“拯救我们的孩子”的运动。 That, more than anything, made it clear that my responsibility was to tell you the truth, that your own child is homosexual, and that I never needed saving from anything except the cruel and ignorant piety of people like Anita Bryant. 这极好地说明了，我有责任告诉您真相，您的孩子是同性恋，我也不需要任何救赎，只希望不被安妮塔·布莱恩这样残酷又伪善的人伤害。 I’m sorry, Mama. Not for what I am, but for how you must feel at this moment. 对不起，妈妈，不是因为我是同性恋，而是您现在的感受。 I know what that feeling is, for I felt it for most of my life. Revulsion, shame, disbelief — rejection through fear of something I knew, even as a child, was as basic to my nature as the color of my eyes. 我知道您的感受，因为我大部分时候也有这样的感觉。厌恶，羞耻，怀疑 — 出于对我已知事情的恐惧而产生的抗拒，即使作为一个孩子，我的天性就像我眼睛是什么颜色一样，是天生的。 No, Mama, I wasn’t “recruited.” No seasoned homosexual ever served as my mentor. But you know what? I wish someone had. 不，妈妈，我不是被招募的。没有经验丰富的同志来充当我的导师。但您知道吗？我希望有人教我。 I wish someone older than me and wiser than the people in Orlando had taken me aside and said, “That’s all right, kid. You can grow up to be a doctor or a teacher just like anyone else. You’re not crazy or sick or evil. You can succeed and be happy and find peace with friends — all kinds of friends — who don’t give a damn who you go to bed with. Most of all, though, you can love and be loved, without hating yourself for it.” 我希望有比我大的人，比奥兰多居民明智的人把我带到一旁和我说：“没事的，孩子。你长大以可以当医生，可以当老师，和其他人一样。你没疯，没病，也不坏。你可以成功，快乐，和朋友和平共处 — 和各种各样的朋友 — 他们不在乎你跟谁上床。但最重要的是，你可以爱和被爱，不用怨恨自己。 But no one ever said that to me, Mama. I had to find it out on my own, with the help of the city that has become my home. I know this may be hard for you to believe, but San Francisco is full of men and women, both straight and gay, who don’t consider sexuality in measuring the worth of another human being. 但是从来没人和我说过这些，妈妈。我必须自己探索，这座我安家的城市帮助了我。我知道，或许您难以置信，但旧金山就是这样的一座城市：有男人和女人，有异性恋也有同性恋，他们从来不会用性取向去衡量一个人的价值。 These aren’t radicals or weirdos, Mama. They are shop clerks and bankers and little old ladies and people who nod and smile to you when you meet them on the bus. Their attitude is neither patronizing nor pitying. And their message is so simple: Yes, you are a person. Yes, I like you. Yes, it’s all right for you to like me, too. 他们不是激进分子，也不是怪人，妈妈。他们是商店的店员，银行柜员，小老太太，还有当您坐公交车时，向您点头微笑的人。他们既不是高人一等，也不是同情的态度。他们要传递的信息如此简单：是的，你是一个人。是的，我喜欢你。是的，你也可以喜欢我。 I know what you must be thinking now. You’re asking yourself: What did we do wrong? How did we let this happen? Which one of us made him that way? 我知道您现在一定在想，在问自己：我们究竟做错了什么？我们怎么会让这种事情发生？我们俩是谁让他变成了个样子？ I can’t answer that, Mama. In the long run, I guess I really don’t care. All I know is this: If you and Papa are responsible for the way I am, then I thank you with all my heart, for it’s the light and the joy of my life. 我无法回答，妈妈。从长远来说，我想我真的不在乎。我只知道：如果您和爸爸对我现在的样子负有责任，那么我要感谢你们，用我的真心，因为这是我生命中的亮光和快乐。 I know I can’t tell you what it is to be gay. But I can tell you what it’s not. 我知道我没法告诉您同性恋是什么，但我能告诉您不是什么。 It’s not hiding behind words, Mama. Like family and decency and Christianity. It’s not fearing your body, or the pleasures that God made for it. It’s not judging your neighbor, except when he’s crass or unkind. 不躲躲藏藏，不用避讳谈及家庭，体面和宗教，妈妈。不恐惧自己的身体，不恐惧上帝让其带来的乐趣。不去评判邻居，除非他非常粗鲁和刻薄。 Being gay has taught me tolerance, compassion and humility. It has shown me the limitless possibilities of living. It has given me people whose passion and kindness and sensitivity have provided a constant source of strength. 身为同性恋，我学会了宽容，同情和谦逊。这个身份也向我展示了生活的无数种可能性。这个身份也为我带来了热情，善良，敏感的人，给予了我无限的力量。 It has brought me into the family of man, Mama, and I like it here. I like it. 这个身份也带我进入了人类的的大家庭，妈妈我喜欢这里，我真的喜欢。 There’s not much else I can say, except that I’m the same Michael you’ve always known. You just know me better now. 我没有别的要说的了，只有这句：我还是您一直都认识的迈克。您只是现在更了解我了。 Please don’t feel you have to answer this right away. It’s enough for me to know that I no longer have to lie to the people who taught me the value of truth. 您不必觉得现在马上就要回复。对我来说，能不再和教真理的价值的人说谎，这就足够了。 Your loving son, 爱您的儿子 Michael 迈克 ▎主播介绍 永清：为你读英语美文创始人，努力做自己的英雄 主播，制作：永清