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我说你们大家想不想看点特别有趣的东西 Hey, you guys want to see something funny?
哦 如果又是你掀起自己衣服 Oh, if this is where you lift your shirt up.
露出肚脐眼跳肚皮舞那套 还是算了吧 And make your belly button sing... no, thank you.
比那还要好呢 给你们看看我给小查莉剪的视频呀 Even better. Check out this video I made of Charlie.
做个宝宝真不爽 Being a baby stinks.
食物总是太糊太糙又太稀了 Food's too mushy, gross and too juicy,
还有大人们给我看的电视节目都很粗鲁无礼 And the tv shows they make me watch are insulting.
啊 这下好多了 Ahh, much better.
生活真美好 Life is good.
完
儿子 你一定要把这段上传到网上给你们外婆看看 P.J., you are gonna have to put that online so grandma can see it.
外婆会上网的啊 Grandma knows how to go online?
儿子 你得把这刻成光碟 P.J., you're gonna have to put that on a DVD
寄给外婆看 So grandma can watch it.
外婆有光碟播放机吗 Grandma got a DVD. Player?
好吧 儿子 你亲自去趟外婆家 Okay, P.J., you're just gonna have to go over to grandma's house.
把这放给外婆看吧 And act it out for her.
好 念这句 图书馆在哪儿 Okay, where is the library?
（注：法语音节）
突苏馆在哪哎 Donde esta la libraria?
哈哈 你说卷舌儿话音节时真是好迷人 Okay, you're really cute when you roll your rs,
（注：西班牙语音节）
可应该这样念 比不里泰卡 But it's "Biblioteca."
比不利泰卡 Biblioteca.
不过再念一次“突苏馆”给我听吧 But say "Libraria" Again.
突苏苏馆馆馆儿 儿 儿 Libraria.
你这样念真是让我好有感觉呀 Your rrrs make me all Mmm.
对了 我要问你点事 Hey, listen, I want to ask you something.
唔 听上去很有意思 是什么呢 Ooh, that sounds interesting. What is it?
那个嘛 Well...
盖比 打扰一下 Gabe, do you mind?
没关系 你们可以留在这儿 No, you can stay.
我们还是上楼去吧 Let's go upstairs.
好主意 我本来想叫你们走的 Good idea. I was gonna say something,
不过不想显得没礼貌而已 But I didn't want to be rude.
好了 现在可以告诉我是什么事了吧 Okay, now what did you want to ask me?
我想问你 I was wondering if...
你真是太让我丢脸了 It was embarrassing.
我只是问个很简单的问题呀 It was a simple question.
你爸隔了两个通道对我喊 Your father shouts at me from two aisles away,
喂 艾米 你想选什么样的厕纸啊 "Hey, ames, what kind of toilet paper you like...
两层纸面还是超多层纸面的 Quilted or super-quilted?"
嘿 快看 斯宾塞来做客了 Hey, look, Spencer's here.
所以呢 全世界并不知道 So what, the world doesn't know.
伟大的艾米·邓肯也会使用厕纸呀 That the great Amy Duncan uses toilet paper?
邓肯先生 邓肯太太 见到你们很高兴 Nice to see you, Mr. And Mrs. Duncan.
你那么大喊了一通后 居然还是拿错了我们要的种类 After all that shouting, you got the wrong kind.
因为我本来就不是厕纸通灵大师 Well, that's because I'm not Bob the toilet paper psychic.
还是去那边吧 Right this way.
好吧 破罐子破摔 Well, on the bright side,
你也拿错了垃圾袋 You got the wrong trash bags too.
我替我父母道歉了 Sorry about my parents.
哇 我好像常常替他们道歉 Wow, I say that a lot.
那我想问你的是 So what I wanted to ask you was...
我要抓住你咯 我一定会抓住你 I'm gonna get you! I'm gonna get you!
抓住了 抓住了 Yes, I am. Yes, I am.
要抓住了 Yes, I am.
好了 我们还是去屋外吧 Okay, let's go outside.
他要抓住她还早得很呢 It usually takes him a while to get her.
行了 我想我已经甩掉所有的家庭成员了 Okay, I think I'm all out of family members,
不过你最好还是快点讲完 But you'd better talk fast.
行 我是想说 Okay, I was wondering.
你在礼拜五能不能穿上我的橄榄球球衣呢 If you would wear my football Jersey on Friday.
这是球队选手女朋友们的一个惯例 It's sort of a tradition that the players' girlfriends.
要在比赛日穿着队员男友的球衣去 Wear their jerseys on game day.
那这样意思就是说我已经是你的 So that would make me.
女朋友了吗 Your girlfriend?
对呀 Yeah.
太好了 Cool
因为我还不是很确定我们的关系到底是怎样 Because I wasn't exactly sure of our status.
而且我又好紧张怕去问你 And I was too nervous to ask.
我不想成为那种没水准的女生 And I didn't want to be one of those girls.
非要逼着你说出来 不过话说回来 That made you talk about it. But then again...
那你是答应穿球衣了吧 So that's a yes on the Jersey?
当然啦 我的男友 Of course it's a yes, boyfriend.
我要回商店去 Back to the store,
把那正确的超级多层厕纸给换回来 Where the correct answer was super-quilted!
哇 太强大了 查莉的那个视频火起来了 Whoa, this is amazing. That Charlie video has gone viral.
啥叫火起来了 What does that mean?
自从上星期二以来 已经有百万人次的点击率了 That it's gotten a million hits since last Tuesday.
现在我再回答你接下来的问题 And now I'll answer your next question.
那意思就是有一百万的人已经看过我们家查莉了 That means over a million people have seen it.
所以你是把那视频发到“脸酷”上去了么 So what, you put that on the FaceTube?
（注：老爸把Facebook和YouTube搞混了）
说的好 老爸 就是“脸酷”啊 Yeah, that's right, dad... the FaceTube.
我要上电视啰 I'm gonna be on tv.
啥 What?
有线新闻八台刚才打电话来了 The Channel 8 News just called.
因为那视频在全世界网络上传播开了 And now that this video is allver the Internet,
他们想给“臭屁宝宝查莉”一家做一个详细追踪报道 They want to do an exclusive on the "Farty Charlie" family.
那不是我们全体都要上电视了 So we're all gonna be on tv
对 我就是想告诉你们来着 That's what I meant.
这边是我们家的起居室 And this is our family room.
你们家什么来着 Your family what?
起居室儿儿呀 Our family rrroom.
这里真是安静祥和呀 Oh, it's so nice and peaceful here.
对呀 这房子很大 但是只有我爸妈和我三口人住 Well, it's a big house and it's just me, mom and dad.
天 太美好了 Oh, how wonderful.
爸妈 她是泰迪 Mom, dad, this is Teddy.
您好 很高兴认识你们 华尔士先生和太太 Hi, nice to meet you, Mr. And Mrs. Walsh.
别客气 我是琳达 我先生保罗 Oh, please, I'm Linda. This is Paul.
斯宾塞老是不停口的跟我们说起你 Spencer has told us so much about you.
你比他讲的还要漂亮多了 You're even prettier than he said.
爸爸快别说了 Dad, stop.
哎呀不要紧的 我一点不介意被人家说漂亮 Oh, no, it's okay. I don't mind being pretty.
对了 斯宾塞 趁我没忘跟你说呀 Oh, Spence, before I forget,
你妈妈今天在商场做了件特可爱的事 Your mom did the cutest thing in the store today.
她指着一个形状像爱心的茄子 She pointed out an eggplant in the shape of a heart.
说那让她想起了我 And said it remded her of me.
我说的是真的呀 Well, it did.
他们一定和我家爸妈不在一个商场买东西 They must shop at a different store than my parents.
好了 等我赶快放下这些东西给你们俩孩子弄些小零食吃 Well, let me put these away and I'll fix you kids a quick snack.
哦 那吉他真是很漂亮 Oh, that's a beautiful guitar.
哎呀 谢谢你 这是我们上次去西班牙旅行时我买来的 Oh, thank you. I picked this up on our last trip to Spain.
我可以弹奏给你们听吗 Do you mind if I play?
请便 No, go ahead.
我习惯了 我那老哥 成天都弹吉他的而且他弹的啊 Yeah, my brother... he plays guitar and he...
从来没这么好听过 哦 真是太美妙了 Sounds nothing like that. Oh, that is so pretty.
谢谢 泰迪 请坐下慢慢欣赏吧 Thank you. Teddy, have a seat, relax.
好的 Okay.
喔唷 是按摩椅 Oh, massage chair.
舒服啊 Ni-I-I-ce.
烟熏三文鱼和蘸酱切边吐司 Smoked salmon and dill on toast points.
您这弄的算小零食吗 That's a snack?
我个人对厨艺烹调稍有涉猎 I dabble in the culinary arts.
您这手艺可是比稍有涉猎强多了 Mm, you more than dabble in that.
哦等等 我能再拿一块吗 Oh wait, can I have one more?
你想现在开始学习不 You want to start studying?
再等一分钟就好 In a mi-I-inute.
哼 我早就知道了 一旦人到达巅峰 Well, I'm not surprised. Once you're on top,
总有人嫉妒的想把你拉下马 They just want to knock you down.
你在说什么呢 What are you talking about?
你来看看有些人对查莉的视频的回复评论吧 Listen to some of these comments about the Charlie video.
这个叫Fredr5178的人说 Fred r5178 says,
“可爱是可爱 不过这只是狗屎运 昙花一现的” "Cute, but you got lucky, one-hit wonder."
还有另外一个人说“你真是个可悲没天赋的失败者” Here's another one... "You're a pathetic, no-talent loser!"
后面还跟了十九个惊叹号 With about 19 exclamation points.
这人账号名字叫“盖比D” That one's from GabeD.
这些人到底是谁啊 Who are these people?
那可没办法查得出来 There's no way to know.
盖比宝贝 过来这边 Gabe honey, come here.
给你看看妈妈以前的风光时刻 I want to show you something very exciting from mommy's past.
老姐告诉过我只要听到那种话 Teddy told me if I ever heard those words,
应该直接忽视走掉 I should just keep walking.
给我留在这儿 Park it.
我现在是为了上电视前的准备功课 Now in preparation for our television appearance
先翻出以前的我以前做的传播节目来研究一下 I'm studying some of my previous broadcast work.
想当年老娘也是记者一名 I used to be a reporter.
是西南丹佛社区学院的时事新闻组成员 For the southwest Denver community college action news team.
在全国都有我们成打的观众群呢 We reached dozens of viewers all across the country.
现在放的这个是我最有力的报道之一 This is one of my hardest-hitting pieces.
在我手里拿着的这个东西 In my hand I'm holding.
是我们校园中首次登场的 Something new to our campus...
手机 A cell phone.
就是移动电话的简称 "Cell" Is short for "Cellular"
信不信由你 Believe it or not,
你可以随处带着这个电话到处跑 You can use this phone wherever you go.
我知道这听上去很无稽 I know it sounds crazy,
（注：90年代美国著名歌手）
不过正如宝拉·阿布杜会说的 But as Paula abdul would say,
“我是实话实说” "I'm tellin' ya straight up."
真是不错 老娘太牛了 It was good. It was really good.
-晕 无法相信 -没开玩笑吧 史上最差投球 - Oh, unbelievable. - Are you kidding me? That's the worst throw!
喂 Hi.
哦 泰迪啊 你手里拿的是什么 Hey, Teddy. Hey, what you got there?
从斯宾塞家里拿来的打包饭菜 Leftovers from Spencer's house.
快点啊 Come on!
我看不下去了 我要关了它 I can't watch this. I'm turning it off.
别别 等等 广告是那个会说话的搞笑大脚呢 No no, wait wait. The commercial with the talking foot.
吃饭啦 Dinner!
（注：buns也是俚语中的“臀部”）
拿着你的圆面包 今晚吃牛肉三明治 Grab your buns. It's sloppy Joe night.
妈妈刚才说“拿着你的屁股”哈哈 Mom just said, "Grab your buns."
最好快去拿 泰迪 Go fast.Teddy.
我不用了 谢谢 I'm fine, thank you.
喔 你吃的是啥 Ooh, what are you having?
蘸酱切边吐司配三文鱼 Toast points with salmon and dill.
