《疯狂学校》My Werid School Book 5 Chapter 3

Chapter 3 Fun, Fun, Fun with Miss Small Miss Small was carrying a basketball, a football, a soccer ball, a kickball, and just about every other kind of ball you could name. She ran out and climbed up on the bleachers. Then she jumped off the bleachers and jumped on one of those little trampolines on the floor. She did a flip, went flying through the air, and tried to dunk all those balls in the basketball hoop. One or two of them went in, but mostly they went flying all over the place. So did Miss Small. She landed in a heap on the floor. Miss Small is off the wall! “Are you okay?” we all asked as we gathered around her. I was afraid she might have broken something, because she was just lying there without moving. “I’m fit as a fiddle!” Miss Small replied. “I just wanted to show you how you’re not supposed to behave in the gym. In Fizz Ed, safety is our biggest concern.” Miss Daisy said she had to go back to class, and she left. Miss Small stood up slowly. It was amazing! Nobody could do anything except stare at her with their mouth open. “Wow!” we all said. The amazing thing was that Miss Small was really tall! Like, she was a million inches big. Her head just about reached the basketball hoop. It was like a giant had walked into the room. She must be the tallest person in the history of the world! Miss Small was the opposite of her name. It was like a fat guy was named Mr. Thin or a dumb guy was named Mr. Smart or a really handsome guy was named Mr. Ugly or . . . well, you get the idea. Miss Small blew into the shiny silver whistle that was hanging around her neck. “Hey, kids! Are you ready to have some fun?” “Yeah!” we all hollered. “We’re going to have lots of fun in Fizz Ed!” she said. “Fun fun fun, all the time! That’s my motto.” “What’s a motto?” asked Ryan. “I don’t know,” Miss Small said. “What’s a motto with you?” Then she laughed. “Do you like to play games?” Miss Small asked. “I love playing games!” “I like to play video games,” one of the boys said. “Those aren’t the kind of games I’m talking about,” said Miss Small. “Real games are even more fun. I’m talking about running and jumping and chasing games. We’re going to play Red Light Green Light, Red Rover, Spud, Mother May I, Duck Duck Goose. . . .” “Those games are lame,” Ryan whispered in my ear. “Kids can get hurt when they run and jump and chase each other,” said Andrea. “My mother told me to always be careful so I don’t get hurt.” “Can you possibly be any more boring?” I asked Andrea. She is gonna make a great grown-up when she grows up. She’s only eight, and she’s already mature, which is a fancy way to say boring. “Do we have to play games where somebody loses?” asked that crybaby Emily. “I think the team that loses should win too. My dad told me I’m a winner whether I win or lose.” “Your dad is weird,” I said, even though Emily looked like she might cry again. “If everybody wins, what’s the point of playing the game? That’s why you play. To beat the other team.” “Competing is icky,” said Andrea. “It doesn’t matter if you win or lose, A.J. It’s how you play the game that counts,” said Miss Small. “In Fizz Ed, our goal is to have fun and build strong, healthy bodies. But most of all, by the end of the term, I want you all to have cooties.” “Cooties!” everybody shrieked. “Girls have cooties!” shouted all the boys. “Boys have cooties!” shouted all the girls. I never really knew what cooties were, but I knew they were something horrible that you wouldn’t want to get. “Everybody should have cooties,” said Miss Small. “Cooties stands for COOperation, TEAmwork, and Sportsmanship.” Oh. I didn’t care much about that stuff. I just wanted to beat Andrea Young at something because she thinks she is so smart. Besides, words that are made from the letters of other words are dumb. Miss Small blew her whistle again. “Before we do anything, we have to stretch.” Miss Small got down on the floor again and did some push-ups. Then we had to do push-ups. She did some sit-ups. Then we had to do sit-ups. She did some wind- mills and arm circles. Then we had to do windmills and arm circles. “See if you can touch your toes,” Miss Small said. “Now see if you can touch the sky. You want to be loose as a goose in a caboose.” Stretching was boring, and dumb, too. Nobody can touch the sky. After we stretched, Miss Small made us do about a million hundred jumping jacks. “Isn’t this fun?” Miss Small asked when we were finished. I thought I was gonna throw up. She blew her whistle again. “Okay, now that we’re all as loose as a goose in a caboose, who wants to play a game?” “I do!” we all shouted. Finally!