介绍:
（Crazy Stupid Love）
车厘子/编译
Your life is so PG-13.
你的生活太少儿不宜了。
- Who looks like a carrot?
- Conan O'Brien.
- 谁看起来像胡萝卜？
- 柯南•奥布莱恩
- I'm asking a question. You in a frat?
- No.
- Are you Steve Jobs?
- What?
- Hold on a second. Are you the billionaire owner of Apple Computers?
- No.
- Oh. Okay. Well, in that case, you got no right to wear New Balance sneakers ever.
- 我问你一个问题，你是兄弟会的吗？
- 不是。
- 你是乔布斯吗？
- 什么？
- 这么说吧，你是那个坐拥苹果公司的亿万富翁吗？
- 不是。
- 噢，好的，如此一来，你就无权穿新百伦运动鞋了。
I am saving you from disaster, because you're asking to pre-board the Titanic.
我要把你从灾难中拯救出来，你已经快登上泰坦尼克号了。
We won the second women started doing pole dancing for exercise.
当女人把跳钢管舞当作运动时，我们就赢了。
I am R-rated sexy.
我性感得应该打上马赛克了。
All my life I wanted to grow up. I wanted to grow older so people would take me seriously. It all sounded so good to me. Growing up, getting a job, getting married. But... it's all a scam. And love? That's the biggest scam of all. I was in love. And I know that makes some of you laugh because I'm only 13... but whatever. I was.
我一生都渴望成长。因为长大后，人们就会正视我的存在。这一切听起来如此美妙。长大，求职，结婚。但是，这不过是场骗局。而爱情？更是最大的骗局。我恋爱了。我知道你们会因此哄堂大笑，毕竟我只有13岁。不过，管他呢，我就是恋爱了。
My son believes in grand romantic gestures. He believes in the existence of one's soul mate. And it's easy to just look at a 13-year-old and say: "You don't know what you're talking about. You are wrong." But I'm not so sure. I met my soul mate when I was 15 years old. We went out for ice cream. After, my dad started teasing me about my first date, the way dads do. And I told him, "Dad, it's no big deal. I'm gonna be going out with a lot of different girls on a lot of different dates." And that is the first time that I ever lied to my father. I met my soul mate when I was 15 years old and I have loved her every minute of every day since I first bought her that mint chocolate chip cone. I have loved her through the birth of my three perfect children. I have loved her even when I've hated her. Only married couples will understand that one. And I don't know if it's gonna work out. I don't know what's gonna happen. I'm sorry, Robbie, I can't give you that. But I can promise you this: I will never stop trying. Because when you find the one... you never give up.
我儿子相信浪漫，相信灵魂伴侣的存在。对一个才13岁的孩子说“你不知道自己在说什么，你错了”这样的话很容易，但是我不会这么说。我15岁时遇到了我的灵魂伴侣。我们一块去吃冰淇淋。之后，我父亲开始取笑我的第一次约会，爸爸都这样。我跟他说：“爸，没什么大不了的，我会和很多女生约会的。”那是我第一次对父亲撒谎。我在15岁时遇见了我的灵魂伴侣，自从我第一次给她买了薄荷巧克力甜筒以后，我无时无刻不在爱着她。她为我生下三个完美的孩子时，我爱透了她，甚至恨她时还爱着她。有结了婚的人才能理解这种感受。
我不知道这段讲话是否能解决问题，我不知道会发生什么。对不起，罗比，我给不了你希望，但我向你保证：我永不放弃。因为当你找到你的灵魂伴侣后，你便永不会放弃。
You like my dad and in a few years I'll look like him. I'll come for you then.
你喜欢我老爸。几年之后，我就会长得跟他一个样了，到时我再来找你。
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