介绍:
Xiaohua: China’s huge and growing population of netizens is an alluring market for foreign websites. Now the notorious AshleyMadison.com, a U.S. website connecting married people seeking extramarital affairs, is making a push for China. The website launched its Hong Kong site last year, and is now looking for opportunities to be allowed into the Chinese mainland. Do you that it’s even possible?
Heyang: I think it’s gonna be pretty difficult. And I think the fact that Xiaohua used the adjective “notorious” to describe AshleyMadison.com, it does show a lot of people in China hold this view that our society is built upon marriages and these are units of family that is the building stock for the stability of society. And what this website does is it allows people who are looking for extramarital affairs to get connected to another person who is looking for exactly the same thing. So that’s certainly a very controversial idea anywhere.
John: I think the point is, and the biggest difference between AshleyMadison and things like Jiayuan is that people can be honest about what they want. If a married man or woman goes on to these dating websites because they are unsatisfied in the relationship or whatever, you cannot register as a married person. Instead they are going to have to lie, and say they are not married.
Heyang: But most people who go on dating websites are single people who are looking to start a marriage and this is about only people who are married or attached to someone. Those are the only people that are allowed to go on this website. Doesn’t that encourage extramarital affairs?
John: Maybe they are maybe they are, but that’s the whole point. You don’t know. Sure, in China.
Here’s the thing. So I want to go back first to Xiaohua’s original question: is it possible for this website to be opened here in China. I highly doubt it’s ever actually going to happen. If we look at current government Internet policy and pornography is illegal. And we’ve seen just recently quite a few websites, very high profile websites being taken down or being publically admonished for having this type of material. I seriously doubt they are going to allow a website like AshelyMedison to operate in China. That being said it’s actually quite a difficult argument to make that this is somehow encouraging people to have an affair. I think that the way people work is that if you want to cheat on your spouse, you are going to figure out ways to do it whether or not there is a website because of it. If you want to do something, you are gonna find how to do it.
Heyang: So it’s kind of like answering the desire of people already having it. But on the other hand, when you look at its slogan which is “life is short, have an affair”. Is that not encouraging?
John: It’s called an advertisement. It’s encouraging people who are already interested in having an affair to go use their website.
Xiaohua: I don’t agree with that. I think there are serious problems with the fundamental logic within this website. First, the thing about what you said about being honest that these people they can be honest about finding extramarital affairs. What about honesty to their own partners? They are throwing that part of honesty away.
John: That’s a little bit different. At least they are not lying to their partner and lying to someone who possible is looking to get married.
Xiaohua: So instead of lying to two people, now they are only lying to one. Bravo!
John: No, I’m not trying to defend them. I’m just trying to give what is the clearest picture of what I think this website is about, and being as non-judgmental as possible. Because I mean look, people are going to cheat, people are not going to cheat. It depends on what type of person you are.
Xiaohua: But also about your point that this website does not encourage extramarital affairs. I’m not entirely on broad with that. For example, you think about most people’s mentality when they are cheating. A lot of them are not people who are determined to cheat and say I have to cheat on my wife today and I have to find another partner. A lot of it is opportunity arises they meet someone and they can’t help it, and then they cheat, right? They are not going to be a huge number of people who are doing nothing but try to find someone to cheat on.
John: I don’t think that’s the case of this website either. I think there might be obviously we look at the popularity, there is quite a very large population of busy people out there who have decided that for whatever reason, their current relationship is unfulfilling. So there is an interesting argument here, a psychological and philosophical argument, is it better to accidentally fall into an affair or is it better to consciously enter into one?
Heyang: Or can you just find other ways, conventional ways to make your marriage better instead of what it is seem to me find an excuse, and legitimate avenue for adultery which is illegal in some countries.
John: Certainly it’s ground to divorce.
Xiaohua: I can understand John when you are saying that you know there are people who for some reason decide to stay in a totally unhappy marriage and this website could make their life a bit less miserable. From this part, I could sort of understand that. But still there are a lot of other people may not be that miserable in marriage but they see this opportunity arise, maybe they cannot help logging on to it and then making their life miserable.
John: But I think both of you are taking what I would call very typical Chinese way of looking at this. And thinking that just because we allow this website to exist, just because this website allows people to indulge in what we may call immoral behavior, that this is somehow a threat to society.
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