7.16 About EX

EMF 2018.7.16 When I spoke to both of you, I realized that you felt the same way internally but you completely miscommunicated and misread each other’s feelings externally. Often what happens is we project our own perceptions and insecurities onto the other person. We end up believing our own assumptions rather than the reality of the situation. We’re so scared of opening up. We’re so fearful of being vulnerable. Because we might fall; because we might get rejected. But what if that’s what kept you two apart? What if that was the reason that you never realized that you both felt the same way? Would it then be worth the same thing? Would you then feel the same way that it was good that you stayed closed and you didn’t express how you really felt? In this way I find that so many people are together but not in love, and I find that so many people are in love, but not together. And remember: we never see things as they are; we see things as we are. 当我和你们两个交谈时，我知道你们内心的感受都是一样的，但你们没有很好地沟通，完全误解了对方的感受。通常，我们把自己内心的感知和不安全感潜意识地投射到了他人身上。最终我们把自己的臆想当成了现实的状况。我们害怕向对方敞开心扉。我们害怕受到伤害。因为我们可能会受挫，可能会被拒绝。 但是如果这就是你们分手的原因呢？这就是你们从来没有意识到你们彼此有同样的感受的原因呢？那你们这样做还值得吗？你们还会觉得保持沉默而不表达自己的真实感受是件好事吗？就这样，我发现好多人，他们在一起却不相爱；而彼此相爱的人，却没有在一起。记住：我们从没有看到事情的本质，我们只是从我们的角度来看待事情。