报道称父母管太多对孩祗不利。真滴吗？

一中两外锵锵三人行 今日话题- 报道称：父母管太多可能对孩祗不利。真滴吗？ LW: Now, is intrusive parenting harmful to children? I would put it to you, Yoyo, that almost all parenting is incredibly intrusive, so you’ll have to explain this one for us a little bit more. WY: Okay, recently, a study found out that parents pushing their kids to excel in school in pursuit of good grades might be harmful to their health, and it could lead to unintended consequences. Researchers from the National University of Singapore found that for kids with perfectionist [parents], their tendency to become highly self-critical may increase over the years. NL: Many, many parents still do have these kinds of attitudes and perhaps it’s to, kind of, make them aware of the pitfalls, because obviously there are both benefits and pitfalls to any parenting style, pretty much, you could say, and make them aware of the other side of the actions that they’re taking. LW: Okay, well, let’s ground this a little bit before we go on. Nick, would you say that your parents’ parenting style was quite intrusive, or not? NL: I would not say that it was particularly intrusive. LW: Not particularly intrusive. WY: And, there’s also a book, called Intrusive Parenting: How Psychological Control Affects Children and Adolescents. It says that this kind of parenting style, which is known as ‘intrusive’ or ‘helicopter’ parenting, is characterized as ‘manipulative’. LW: Well, hang on here. ‘Helicopter’ parenting? I don’t think I’m familiar with that term. What does that mean? WY: So it means that they will remotely control their kids, or they’re always above your head. LW: Okay. WY: Controlling every step that you are taking. NL: Hovering above you. LW: Just hovering. Like a helicopter, Nick. Do you see that? NL: I do, I see it. The mental imagery, there. It sounds like some quite strong language, I think. ‘Psychological control’, ‘manipulative’; I don’t think many of these parents would set out to deliberately inflict these kinds of treatments on their children. It seems more like, kind of, an unintended consequence of an action which was intended with good purposes. LW: But what about you, Yoyo? WY: My mom can be a little intrusive. NL: Okay. Would you call her a helicopter? WY: No, of course not! LW: Not to her face. WY: She is a spaceship. LW: Oh, wow. Just everywhere, all the time. It doesn’t necessarily even have to be for academic performance, it could be for sport as well. And, the weird thing is that you don’t necessarily see the people that don’t make it. You end up seeing the people that do make it. WY: Maybe we see so many flaws of it, but now let’s look at the advantages of it. You can see that there has been a perfect example, not long ago, the famous video of sending lots of Chinese teachers to the UK and teaching the British kids. And then, as a comparison, to have the similar number of students being taught by the British teacher. The Chinese teacher is pushing the students really hard, and then some students even cried in the classroom. After a long time, there can be an examination, and when the scores finally came out, the results from the class that was taught by the Chinese teachers, they actually scored higher than the other class, and then the students look at their behavior and their performances, the students are quite happy and grateful to them. NL: Are they happy and grateful that they got better scores, or are they happy and grateful that the whole thing is over? WY: Most of them being interviewed, they said it was a nice experience, and they will remember it. They are grateful for scoring higher. LW: If you give me a choice between getting 85 on a test and getting 80, but I have to cry to get to 85 and I can coast towards 80, I’d be hard pressed to say that that 5% is worth, you know, a lot of mental anguish.