152. No More Monsters for Me! (by Lynn)

"Not even a tadpole, Minneapolis Simpkin," yelled Mom. "And I mean it!" "Okay, okay," I yelled back. Mom and I always yell a lot. But this time, she was really mad. And so was I. I stamped out of the house. I did not care what Mom said. I was going to have a pet. I would take a long walk and think about this. So I walked down the road. Suddenly I heard a funny noise. The noise came from the bushes. I stopped and listened. "Something is crying, Minneapolis Simpkin." I said to myself. "I will find out what it is." I looked in the bushes. Was I surprised! "Wow! A bady monster!" I yelled. I looked at the monster. It looked at me. Then it ran to me. I put my arms around it. "Don't cry," I said. "Minneapolis Simpkin will help you." The monster stopped crying. We stood there hugging each other. "A monster for a pet?" I asked. Mom never said no to a monster. But I never asked her that. Will she say yes? I needed time to think about this. But there was no time. It started raining. The monster did not like it. It started bawling. And I do mean bawling! "Okay, okay," I said. I grabbed the monster. I ran home with it. Mom was in the kitchen. She did not see me. But she heard me. "Are you wet?" she asked. "Yes," I said. "Hurry and get dry," she said. "Supper is about ready." I ran to my room. "So far, so good," I said to myself. "But what now, Minneapolis Simpkin?" I shook my head. I did not know. "Minn," yelled Mom, "supper is ready." "Coming," I yelled back. I started to go down. The monster came, too. "No," I said. "You can't come." I put the monster in my closet. It started bawling again. What was I going to do? I looked all around. "My teddy bear!" I said. I got the teddy bear. "Here," I said. The monster grabbed the bear. It stopped crying. I ran down to supper. Mom had made a good supper. Then I thought of something. Monsters have to eat, too. "Mom," I said, "What do monsters eat?" "Food, I guess," said Mom. "But what kind?" I asked. "Oh," said Mom. "Is this a new game?" Mom loves to play games. So I said, "Yes." "Let me think," said Mom. "What do monsters eat?" I was glad to let her think, because I saw something. I saw the monster. "I will be right back," I yelled. "I have to get something." I had to get something, all right. I had to get the monster hidden. I grabbed the monster. I took it to the basement. The monster started crying again. "Quiet!" I said. "If Mom hears you, we are in for it." I grabbed an apple. "Here," I said. The monster took the apple. It stopped crying. I grabbed another apple. I ran back to the table. "Here, Mom," I said. I gave the apple to her. "What is this for?" she asked. I didn't know what to say. But I had to say something. "Because I love you," I said. Mom laughed. "Minneapolis Simpkin," she said, "I love you, too." Then Mom said, "Pickles!" "Pickles?" I said. "Of course," said Mom. "Monsters love pickles." "I didn't know that," I said. Then I asked, "Do you know where monsters live?" "Yes," said Mom. "They live in caves. Deep dark caves." "Gee, Mom," I said. "You know a lot about monsters." "I love monster stories," said Mom. "I read lots of them." Did Mom like real monsters, too? I started to ask her. But I didn't. The basement door was opening. "I will be right back, Mom," I yelled. "Minneapolis Simpkin!" yelled Mom. "Can't you sit still?" "Hic-cup, hic-cup!" Oh, no! The monster has hiccups. "Now you have the hiccups," yelled Mom. "I will get some water," I yelled back. "HIC-CUP! HIC-CUP!" I opened the basement door. My eyes almost popped out. "You grew!" I yelled. "What did you say?" asked Mom. "Nothing," I said. I pushed the monster back into the basement. It was awful. The monster was huge. It was all lumpy. "HIC-CUP! HIC-CUP!" I got some water. "Drink this," I said. The monster drank the water. The hiccups stopped. "Minn," yelled Mom, "please bring me another apple." "Okay," I yelled back. But there were no more apples. Now I knew why the monster was lumpy. I grabbed a potato. The monster grabbed it from me. I grabbed another one and ran. I locked the basement door. "Here, Mom," I said. "Minn, this is a potato," said Mom. "I asked for an apple." "Oh, sorry, Mom," I said. "Minn," said Mom, "why are you so jumpy? Is something wrong?" Something wrong? Was it ever! But maybe Mom could help. So I said, "I am fine. Tell me some more about monsters. Where are those caves?" "Up in the hills," said Mom. "But don't bother to look for one." "Why not?" I asked. "They are all hidden," she said. "Only monsters can find them." "Are you sure?" I asked. "That is what my mother told me," said Mom. "I looked and I looked. I never could find one." I sure hoped Mom was right. I had to get that monster home. I was not a good pet. Then it happened. CRASH! Mom jumped up. "What was that?" she asked. Then she looked at me. "Minn," she said, "you were in the basement." I nodded my head. "Did you bring home an animal?" I nodded my head again. "Minneapolis Simpkin!" yelled Mom. "I said NO PETS!" "It is not a pet!" I yelled back. "Then what is it?" yelled Mom. I did not mean to. I did not want to. But I started bawling. "It is a monster!" I bawled. I waited for Mom to yell. But she didn't. "Oh, Minn," she said. "You really need a pet, don't you?" "Yes," I bawled. "But I want a kitten or a puppy. I don't want a monster." "No," said Mom. "A monster is not a good pet." I stopped bawling. "Now," said Mom, "go and close that window." "Window! What window?" I asked. "The basement window," said Mom. "I must have left it open." I just looked at her. I still did not understand. "Minneapolis Simpkin!" said Mom. "The wind is blowing hard. It blew something over. That is what made the noise. Go close the window." I went. There was a window open. The potato basket was turned over. The potatoes were all gone. But the monster was still there. It was sleeping. I looked at it. How would I ever get it out of the basement? It was getting bigger and bigger. I went back to Mom. "I closed the window," I said. "The monster is there. But it is sleeping." "Okay, Minn, you win," said Mom. "I was wrong. I will make a deal. You get rid of your monster, and you can have a real pet. Deal?" "Deal!" I cried. That monster was no pet. But it was real. "Good," said Mom. "I am going to take a long bath. You get rid of your monster." "Sure, Mom," I said. I was not sure. But I was sure going to try. I woke up the monster. "Come on," I said. "We are going." The monster came. It had to crawl through the doors. And I had to push from behind. But we made it. I headed for the hills. The monster followed. The night was very dark. I don't like the dark. But I had to get that monster home. We got to the hills. The monster looked at them. It made happy noises. "Is this your home?" I asked. The monster turned to me. Suddenly we were hugging each other. Then the monster ran up the hill. I felt good. The monster had found its home. "No more monsters for me," I said. I ran all the way home. Mom was yelling for me. I went into the house. "Minneapolis Simpkin!" yelled Mom. "Where have you been?" "Getting rid of the monster," I yelled back. "That is what you told me to do." I started to bawl again. Mom looked at me in a funny way. She hugged me. Then I knew. I knew Mom didn't believe that monster was real. But Mom kept our deal. We went to the pet shop. Mom really surprised me. She bought two kittens. "Two!" I said. "Sure," said Mom. "One for you, and one for me." "Mom," I said, "you are okay." "And so are you, Minn," said Mom. We each took a kitten. And we went home.