第八期：他还为女孩留着一扇门，一盏灯……

《H.E.R》- Rous 『 人声部分是一位强迫症患者Neil Hiborn写的一首诗，演讲台上，他阅读时情绪经常激动的无法控制而重复着一句话。但是他对情感的认知是美丽的，付出的情感是美丽的，而结尾的那段话，是心碎的…… 』 The first time I saw her 我第一次见到她时 Everything in my head went quiet 我脑中纷繁的思绪瞬间平静 All the tics, all the constantly refreshing images 所有强迫症引发的冲动，所有不断重复幻化的影像 just disappeared 一下子消失了 When you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder 对强迫症患者而言 You don’t really get quiet moments 生活似乎没有一刻是平静的 Even in bed, I’m thinking: 即便是躺在床上，我仍想着 Did I lock the doors? Yes.Did I wash my hands? Yes. 我锁门了吗？嗯。我洗过手了没？嗯 Did I lock the doors? Yes.Did I wash my hands? Yes. 到底锁门没？嗯。洗过手了？洗过了。 But when I saw her 但是当我见到她时 the only thing I could think about was the hairpin curve of her lips 我唯一想到的是她那有着发夹弧线的双唇 Or the eyelash on her cheek 以及她姣好面颊上的长长睫毛 The eyelash on her cheek 她那美丽的睫毛 The eyelash on her cheek 她那美丽的睫毛 I knew I had to talk to her 我死心踏地地想结识她 I asked her out six times in thirty seconds 我在30秒内迫不急待地问了她6次想不想跟我约会 She said yes after the 3rd one 在我问她第三次时，她答应了 But none of them felt right 但我仍不确信，仍觉得不够完美 So I had to keep going 所以我止不住地继续问、不停地问 On our first date 我们第一次约会时 I spent more time organizing my meal by color than I did eating it 我忙不迭地将我们的餐点按颜色分类，根本顾不上吃 or talking to her 同时不停地和她聊天 But she loved it 觉得她很爱我这个样子 She loved that I had to kiss her goodbye sixteen times or 她喜欢我每次再见前亲她16次 twenty-four times if it was Wednesday 抑或是吻她24次，如果那天正好是周三的话 She loved that it took me forever to walk home 她喜欢每天与我步行回家，走到地老天荒的感觉 Because there are lots of cracks on our sidewalk 因为我得确认有没有闪过人行道的每条裂缝 When we moved in together, she said she felt safe 当我们同居后，她说她感到很安全 like no one would ever rob us because 觉得绝对不会有抢匪闯入 I definitely locked the door eighteen times 因为我每晚肯定要锁门18次 She close her eyes 她闭上双眼 And imagine days and nights what passing infact 并想象日夜交替着在她面前流逝着 When she said she loved me 当她说她爱我时 Her mouth was a straight line 她的嘴角两端会微微上扬 She told me that I was taking up too much of her time 直到有一天，她说我浪费了她太多时间 Last week she started sleeping at her mother’s place 上周她开始回她娘家住了 She told me that she shouldn’t have let me get so attached to her 她告诉我她不该让我如此依恋她 that this whole thing was a mistake 我们的相爱从始至终是个错误 But how can it be a mistake that I don’t have to wash my hands 但怎么可能是个错误呢 after I touched her? 当我每次与她接触后，我都可以不洗手了 Love is not a mistake “真爱”怎么会是错误呢？！ It’s killing me 这真让我生不如死啊 that she can run away from this and I just can’t. 她能如此轻易地放下，可我怎能做到？ I can’tgo out and find someone new because I always think of her. 我容不下别人，因为我满脑子全是她 Usually, when I obsess over things 通常情况下，当我过度执著于某件事情时 I see germs sneaking into my skin. 我看到细菌潜入我的肌体 I see myself crushed by an endless succession of cars. 会想像自已被疾驰而过的汽车碾过 And she was the first beautiful thing I ever got stuck on 她是我今生今世执著事物中唯一的美好 I want to wake up every morning 我想在每天清晨醒来时 Thinking about the way she holds her steering wheel 想着她握着方向盘的模样 How she turns shower knobs like she's opening a safe 想着她像旋转保险箱柄手一样打开淋浴旋钮的样子 How she blows out candles 以及她吹熄蜡烛的样子 Blows out candles 吹熄蜡烛 Blows out candles 吹熄蜡烛 Blows out candles 吹熄蜡烛 Blows out candles 吹熄蜡烛 Blows out the candles.blows out… 她吹熄蜡烛，吹熄…… Now, I just think about who else is kissing her. 如今，我满脑子只想着谁在亲吻她 I can’t breathe because he only kisses her once 想到无法呼吸 He doesn’t care if it’s perfect! 他不在乎那个吻是否完美 I want her back, So Bad! 我好想她能再次回到我身边 I leave the door unlocked. 我开始不关门了 I leave the lights on. 也不关灯了 Change,right 改变，对吗？ When I be imagined to change two things 当我们被期待去做两件事时 Listen and speak up 倾听 和 诉说。 🌸️