EP16-Not Going Home For The Holidays

If you're usually anxious about going home for the holidays, aren't close or have troubled relationships with family, or struggle to balance holiday travel with finances or work, this year's circumstances can give you an excuse to reclaim the holiday season for yourself. If you haven't gone home for the holidays or you're not planning to and you're feeling fine, you're definitely not alone. School, work, time, distance, family situations, finances, and more can all factor into whether or not someone decides to travel for the holidays or not. Sometimes, family and friends will take your decision not to come home for the holidays personally, and they may even try to guilt you into traveling. But what you do is up to you. All you can do is state your thoughts and feelings clearly and hope the other person understands. Feeling confident in your decision is one of the most important aspects of communicating news someone else doesn't want to hear. Remember, if the other person reacts poorly, it's not a reflection of you. They could be struggling as well, and their reaction might be how they express their own anger, guilt, or sadness. Know that it's your choice where you spend the holidays. Your emotional health comes first. If time with family compromises some aspect of this, reevaluate your holiday plans. "Sometimes taking care of yourself means having boundaries around when you can go home and the context in which you can see your family," Brittain says. For those of us who already felt anxious about going home for the holidays, have actively dreaded it, or just aren't close with family, this year is the perfect excuse to reclaim the holiday time for ourselves. Plenty of people are finding the positive side of not going home for the holidays, so if you, too, have felt yourself looking forward to not having to deal with some aspects of it, you're not alone, and you're not a bad person.