【Ted演讲】Sally Kohn - Let’s try emotional correctness（双语文稿）

<Let’s try emotional correctness> Sally Kohn So when I do my job, people hate me. In fact, the better I do my job, the more people hate me. And no, I'm not a meter maid, and I'm not an undertaker. I am a progressive lesbian talking head on Fox News. So y'all heard that, right? Just to make sure, right? I am a gay talking head on Fox News. I am going to tell you how I do it and the most important thing I've learned. 有一些人很厌恶我的职业. 事实上, 我做得越好, 讨厌我的人越多. 而我既不是开罚单的交警, 也不是殡葬从业者. 我只是一个在福克斯新闻(Fox News)上积极地 表达自己观点的同性恋.现在你们都知道了, 对吧, 我再确认一下, 好么? 我是一个同性恋, 同时我活跃在福克斯新闻上. 接下来我要告诉你我是如何做到的，以及在这个过程中我学到的最重要的东西. So I go on television. I debate people who literally want to obliterate everything I believe in, in some cases, who don't want me and people like me to even exist. It's sort of like Thanksgiving with your conservative uncle on steroids, with a live television audience of millions. It's totally almost just like that. 我上了电视. 我跟人辩论, 那些人完全意义上的想要抹去 我所信仰的所有事情, 其中有一些人, 甚至希望我以及像我这样的人, 没有出现过. 这就像是在感恩节的时候, 当着亿万电视机观众的面, 跟你的亲戚 一个保守的人争论类固醇之类的话题. 那感觉真的一模一样. And that's just on air. The hate mail I get is unbelievable. Last week alone, I got 238 pieces of nasty email and more hate tweets than I can even count. I was called an idiot, a traitor, a scourge, a cunt, and an ugly man, and that was just in one email. 而且是直播. 然后我收到的谩骂邮件你都没法想象. 上周我收到了238封骂街的邮件 推特上骂我的推我都数不过来. 他们骂我傻蛋, 叛徒, 祸根, 贱人, 恶心东西, 这些还只是一封邮件中用到的词. So what have I realized, being on the receiving end of all this ugliness? Well, my biggest takeaway is that for decades, we've been focused on political correctness, but what matters more is emotional correctness. 那么在收到这些邮件, 这些恶毒的邮件之后, 我学到了什么? 我最大的收获是, 过去的几十年来, 我们已经开始注重如何做到政治正确, 但是更重要的情感正确却还没有被重视. Let me give you a small example. I don't care if you call me a dyke. I really don't. I care about two things. One, I care that you spell it right. Just quick refresher, it's D-Y-K-E. You'd totally be surprised. And second, I don't care about the word, I care about how you use it. Are you being friendly? Are you just being naive? Or do you really want to hurt me personally? Emotional correctness is the tone, the feeling, how we say what we say, the respect and compassion we show one another. And what I've realized is that political persuasion doesn't begin with ideas or facts or data. Political persuasion begins with being emotionally correct. 我来举个简单的例子. 我不在乎你叫我拉拉. 真的. 我在乎两件事情. 第一, 你别把这个词拼错了.重复一遍, 正确的拼写是DYKE, 意外吧?(译注: 'y'容易被误拼成'i') 第二点, 我不在意你说话的用词, 我在乎你说出来的方式. 你对我的态度够友好么? 你只是愚昧无知么? 而是说你真的想要伤害我?情感正确说得是说话的语气, 情绪, 我们如何表达自己, 我们展示给别人的尊重和热情. 我意识到政治立场的不同, 首先表现在情感正确上, 而不是观念, 事实或者数据. So when I first went to go work at Fox News, true confession, I expected there to be marks in the carpet from all the knuckle-dragging. That, by the way, in case you're paying attention, is not emotionally correct. But liberals on my side, we can be self-righteous, we can be condescending, we can be dismissive of anyone who doesn't agree with us. In other words, we can be politically right but emotionally wrong. And incidentally, that means that people don't like us. Right? 当我刚开始为福克斯新闻(Fox News)工作时 坦白的讲, 我觉得那里面都是些典型的 思维保守的人 这个观点, 如果你注意到的话, 并不是情感正确的. 但是像我这样的自由主义者, 我们可以自以为是, 可以自高自大, 我们可以看不起所有与我们意见相左的人. 换句话说, 我们可以做到政治正确 但是带着错误的情感. 不经意的, 这意味着 人们不喜欢我们. 对吧? Now here's the kicker. Conservatives are really nice. I mean, not all of them, and not the ones who send me hate mail, but you would be surprised. Sean Hannity is one of the sweetest guys I've ever met. He spends his free time trying to fix up his staff on blind dates, and I know that if I ever had a problem, he would do anything he could to help. Now, I think Sean Hannity is 99 percent politically wrong, but his emotional correctness is strikingly impressive, and that's why people listen to him. Because you can't get anyone to agree with you if they don't even listen to you first. 现在我要开始唱反调了. 保守派的人真的很好. 当然并不是全部, 也不包括那些写信骂我的人, 其他人会让你惊讶. 肖恩·汉尼提(福克斯的保守派主持人)是我见过的 最好的人之一. 他用自己的业余时间 给同事介绍对象, 我很确定如果我遇到任何麻烦, 他一定会伸出援手. 现在, 我确定肖恩· 汉尼提 他的政治观点99%是错误的, 但是他在情感上的正确性让人印象深刻, 这也是他获得人们认可的原因. 因为如果人们都不愿意听你说话, 他们一定不会同意你的观点. We spend so much time talking past each other and not enough time talking through our disagreements, and if we can start to find compassion for one another, then we have a shot at building common ground. It actually sounds really hokey to say it standing up here, but when you try to put it in practice, it's really powerful. 我跟他的辩论时间非常的多, 花在讨论我们的不同的观点上的时间却不多. 一旦我们开始觉得有点同情对方, 我们便开始寻找我们的共同点. 在这个场合说这个事情 似乎有点做作, 但是当你真的去尝试的时候, 它非常有效果. So someone who says they hate immigrants, I try to imagine how scared they must be that their community is changing from what they've always known. Or someone who says they don't like teachers' unions, I bet they're really devastated to see their kid's school going into the gutter, and they're just looking for someone to blame. Our challenge is to find the compassion for others that we want them to have for us. That is emotional correctness. 所以当有人说他们痛恨移民时, 我尝试去想象这些人 对于自己熟知社区发生的变化是多么的恐惧. 当我听说有人讨厌教师联合会(teachers' unions)时, 我打赌这是因为他们对于在贫民窟建立幼儿园这件事情极为震惊, 而他们只是想要找个发泄的对象而已. 我们的挑战, 是以同理心去同情那些我们希望能够理解我们的人. 这是情感正确的. I'm not saying it's easy. An average of, like, 5.6 times per day I have to stop myself from responding to all of my hate mail with a flurry of vile profanities. This whole finding compassion and common ground with your enemies thing is kind of like a political-spiritual practice for me, and I ain't the Dalai Lama. I'm not perfect, but what I am is optimistic, because I don't just get hate mail. I get a lot of really nice letters, lots of them. And one of my all-time favorites begins, "I am not a big fan of your political leanings or your sometimes tortured logic, but I'm a big fan of you as a person." Now this guy doesn't agree with me, yet.But he's listening, not because of what I said, but because of how I said it, and somehow, even though we've never met, we've managed to form a connection. That's emotional correctness, and that's how we start the conversations that really lead to change. 这不是那么容易做到的. 我每天大概有5到6次 需要努力的克制自己 不要用敌对的态度去回复那些恶毒的邮件. 对于我而言, 尝试从你的敌人身上找到你同情他的理由 这就像是政治和心灵上的磨练. 我并不完美, 但是我有着乐观的态度, 我收到的并不只有恶毒的邮件. 我收到了很多友好的邮件, 很多很多. 我最喜欢的邮件内容是这样的: 我并不是很赞同你的政治观点, 我也不赞同你扭曲的逻辑, 但是我很喜欢你这个人. 虽然这个家伙并不同意我的观点.但是他在倾听, 不是因为我说了什么, 而是因为我说话的态度, 而且, 虽然我们还从来没有见过面, 但是我们已经有了一种无法言表的联系. 这是情感正确的例子, 这是我们真正的交流的开始, 改变的开始. Thank you. 谢谢.