介绍:
Are Your Friends an Elevator or a Cage?
（为了让选取的内容更清楚，稍进行了修改）
By Steve Pavlina
Let’s explore the role of the people in your life. Are they elevating you to be the best person you can be, or are they holding you back?
We’ve all gone through periods where the people in our lives have changed — graduation, moving to a new city, getting a new job, joining a new club, etc. I don’t think I need to convince you just how much influence other people can have over your identity. If you’ve ever experienced a major shift in your people environment, then you know that you change as well.
Most people don’t make these choices consciously though. You might consciously decide to spend more time with a certain friend, or you may ask someone out on a date to begin a new relationship. But few people choose the bulk of their existing friendships deliberately. Chance meetings may be out of your control, but the strength or weakness of your existing connections is largely under your control.
Think for a moment about the 5-10 people with whom you spend the most time. Even include online communities if you spend a lot of time reading them — which individuals are having the most influence over your thinking right now? Actually write out the list — it should only take a minute. And this includes family members.
Now look at the list. It’s been said that this list will give you a glimpse into your future.
Do you want to become more like these people? Yes or no. Is anyone on the list a bad influence that causes you to backslide? Is anyone on the list a shining light that encourages you to reach new heights?
Now have you ever thought about consciously changing this list? Do you realize that you have the ability to populate this list by choice instead of by chance? You’re free to say no to having certain people in your life, and you’re also free to make the effort to introduce new people you want in your life. Sometimes there are serious consequences, such as with family members and bosses, but it’s still a choice.
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