【老友记102】My wife is a lesbian

Scene 1 吻对于男生女生不同的意义 [Scene Central Perk, everyone’s there.] Monica: What you guys don’t understand is, for us, kissing is as important as any part of it. Joey: Yeah, right!.......You’re serious? Phoebe: Oh, yeah! Rachel: Everything you need to know is in that first kiss. Monica: Absolutely. Chandler: Yeah, I think for us, kissing is pretty much like an opening act, y’know? I mean it’s like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out. Ross: Yeah, and-and it’s not that we don’t like the comedian, it’s that-that... that’s not why we bought the ticket. Chandler: The problem is, though, after the concert’s over, no matter how great the show was, you girls are always looking for the comedian again, y’know? I mean, we’re in the car, we’re fighting traffic... basically just trying to stay awake. Rachel: Yeah, well, word of advice: Bring back the comedian. Otherwise next time you’re gonna find yourself sitting at home, listening to that album alone. Joey: (pause)....Are we still talking about sex? Scene 2 ROSS和MONICA的父母来了，为了转移单身大龄女青年的话题，MONICA怂恿ROSS把妻子是同性恋的事汇报给了父母…… Monica: I know this is going to sound unbelievably selfish, but, were you planning on bringing up the whole baby/lesbian thing? Because I think it might take some of the heat off me. [Time Lapse, everyone is now eating.] Mrs. Geller: What that Rachel did to her life.... We ran into her parents at the club, they were not playing very well. Mr. Geller: I’m not gonna tell you what they spent on that wedding... but forty thousand dollars is a lot of money! Mrs. Geller: Well, at least she had the chance to leave a man at the altar... Monica: What’s that supposed to mean? Mrs. Geller: Nothing! It’s an expression. Monica: No it’s not. Mr. Geller: Don’t listen to your mother. You’re independent, and you always have been! Even when you were a kid... and you were chubby, and you had no friends, you were just fine! And you would read alone in your room, and your puzzles... [Time Lapse.] Mr. Geller: Look, there are people like Ross who need to shoot for the stars, with his museum, and his papers getting published. Other people are satisfied with staying where they are- I’m telling you, these are the people who never get cancer. [Time Lapse.] Mr. Geller: ...And I read about these women trying to have it all, and I thank God Our Little Hamonica doesn’t seem to have that problem. Monica: (trying desperately to change the subject) So, Ross, what’s going on with you? Any stories? (Digs her elbow into his hand.) No news, no little anecdotes to share with the folks? Ross: (pulls his hand away) Okay! Okay. (To his parents) Look, I, uh- I realise you guys have been wondering what exactly happened between Carol and me, and, so, well, here’s the deal. Carol’s a lesbian. She’s living with a woman named Susan. She’s pregnant with my child, and she and Susan are going to raise the baby. SCENE 3 RACHEL和ROSS的第一次促膝长谈 Ross: Anyway.. um.. (Starts to sweep.) So, you- uh- you nervous about Barry tomorrow? Rachel: Oh.. a little.. Ross: Mm-hmm.. Rachel: A lot. Ross: Mm. Rachel: So, got any advice? Y’know, as someone who’s recently been- dumped? Ross: Well, you may wanna steer clear of the word “dumped”. Chances are he’s gonna be this, this broken shell of a man, y’know, so you should try not to look too terrific, I know it’ll be hard. Or,y’know, uh, hey!, I’ll go down there, and I’ll give Barry back his ring, and you can go with Carol and Susan to the OB/GYN... Rachel: Oh, you’ve got Carol tomorrow..When did it get so complicated? Ross: Got me. Rachel: Remember when we were in high school together? Ross: Yeah. Rachel: I mean, didn’t you think you were just gonna meet somone, fall in love- and that’d be it? SCENE 4 ROSS给小宝宝取名字 Ross: So, um- so how’s this, uh, how’s this gonna work? Y’know, with us? Y’know, when, like, important decisions have to be made? Carol: Give me a “for instance”. Ross: Well, uh, uh, I don’t know, okay,okay, how about with the, uh, with the baby’s name? Carol: Marlon- Ross: Marlon?! Carol: -if it’s a boy, Minnie if it’s agirl. Ross: ...As in Mouse? Carol: As in my grandmother. Ross: Still, you- you say Minnie, you hear Mouse. Um, how about, um.. how about Julia? Carol: Julia.. Susan: We agreed on Minnie. Ross: funny, um, uh, we agreed we’dspend the rest of our lives together. Things change, roll with the punches. I believe Julia’s on the table..?