Friends 1005 The One Where Rachel's Other Sister Babysits

[Scene: Central Perk] Rachel: You know, I'm thinking about letting Emma have her first cookie. Joey: Her first cookie? She has cookies all the time! Rachel: I've never given her a cookie. Have you? Joey: No! No... and, for the record, I've also never given her a frosting from a can! Monica: Hey Rach, the adoption agency needs letters of recommendation and we were wondering if you would write one for us. Rachel: Of course, I'd be honored! Chandler: Thanks! Monica: Thank you! (Joey looks at them, disappointed about their decision) Joey: U-U-Um, I think there's been an oversight. Chandler: Joey, we would've asked you, we just thought you wouldn't be interested. Monica: Yeah, it's just we don't think of you as really being so much "with the words". Joey: Whoo-weh hey weh-hey whoo hey!! Monica: Clearly we were wrong. Joey: I gotta a lot of nice stuff to say about you guys, ok? And I know how much you wanna have a baby, you know, and I would love to help you get one. Monica: You know what? Then, Joey, we want you to do it. Joey: Thank you! Alright, let me see how I'm gonna start... "Dear baby adoption decider people..." Chandler: So excited about your letter! (Phoebe enters) Phoebe: Hey! All: Hey Phoebe! Joey: Hey! Monica: Wow! Don't you look nice?! Phoebe: Yes, I do! Today is Mike and my one-year anniversary. Rachel: OH! What's it the anniversary of? Your first date, your first kiss, first time you had sex... Phoebe: YEAH! Chandler: So you must be going to somewhere fancy to celebrate? Phoebe: Uh-uh. Ehm, a Knicks game. Joey: Uhm... Aren't you a little overdressed? Phoebe: Hey, you know what, I've never had a one-year anniversary before, so no matter where we go, I'm wearing something fancy pants, and... I'm gonna put on my finest jewelry and we're gonna have sex in a public rest room. Monica: You guys do that? Chandler won't even have sex in our bathroom! Chandler: That's where people make number two!! OPENING CREDITS Scene: Ross' apartment. Ross is grading papers. Charlie approaches him.] Charlie: Hey! (They kiss and cuddle a little) Ross: Hey... Charlie: So, you know... I have a little time. If you... if you want to... Ross: (surprised) Oh... (he pauses)(sounds disappointed) Ohh... I'd love to but I really have to grade these papers. Charlie: Fine, it's fine... (she whispers) I'll just shower by myself... Ross: (Writing on the papers) B, B, B, B, B! Charlie: Oh, Ross, you gave a B to a Pottery Barn catalogue. Ross: Well, it had some good ideas, take off your shirt. (they start kissing but someone knocks at the door) Ross: Damnit! Amy: (yelling from outside) Rachel!! Open up!! It's your sister!! (she knocks on the door again) I have to talk to you!! Ross: (he opens the door) Hi Amy! Amy: You're not Rachel. Ross: Still sharp as a tack! Amy: Um... Charlie, this is Rachel's sister Amy. Amy, this is Charlie. Charlie: Hi! Amy: Hi! Charlie: Nice to meet you. Amy: H-Hi!!(to Ross) And you are...? Ross: (pause) Ross? I... I grew up on your block! We had Thanksgiving together last year... I had a baby with your sister! Amy: (looks confused) N-no... uhm... did I buy a falafel from you yesterday? Ross: (gives up) Yes, yes, you did. [Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment] (Ross enters the apartment with Amy) Ross: Hi Rachel! Here's your sister Amy! She thinks I need pec implants! Rachel: Amy! Hi! Oh-oh-hoh! (they hug) Wow! You remember Joey? Amy: Yeah! Hey, sure! The "Days of Our Lives" guy! Joey: That's right, yeah. Amy: You're not good! Joey: Always nice to meet a fan! Rachel: So now, what are you doing here? Amy: Well, I have huge news. Rachel: (Emma starts crying in the other room) Oh sorry, hold on. Let me just check on the baby! Amy: Wait, this is important! Can Ella wait? (Rachel goes to Emma) Ross: Ehm... Her name is Emma. Amy: Why did you change it, Ella was so much prettier! Ross: What do I know? I just sell Middle Eastern food from a cart! Amy: Hey, your English is getting better!! Ross: (to Joey) Oh my God! Joey: I know, she may be the hottest girl I've ever hated. Ross: What... what you working on? Joey: (using a laptop) Oh, Monica and Chandler's recommendation. I want it to sound smart but.. I don't know any big words or anything, so... Ross: Why don't you use your Thesaurus? Joey: What did I just say? Ross: Watch. (he takes the laptop) Here, you ehm... You highlight the word you want to change. Go under Tools and the Thesaurus generates... 'gives'... 'gives' a whole list of choices. You can pick the word that sounds smartest. Joey: Oh my God, that's great! I'm smart!! No, no, I'm... (he uses the Thesaurus) "brainy, bright, clever", I love this thing! Look out ladies, Joey Tribbiani's got the whole package!! [ Scene: Rachel's room. Rachel is attending to Emma. Amy is standing behind her.]   Rachel: God! Amy: So beautiful. Rachel: Oh, I know, isn't she? Amy: No, I was talking about your bedding. Rachel: All right. What's your news, Amy? Amy: Oh! Um... Well... I'm getting married. Rachel: What? Oh my God! To who? Amy: This guy! He has a killer apartment. Rachel: A-And?? Amy: A-And it's on Fifth. And the elevator opens up right into the living room. Rachel: No, what's he like? Amy: Oh! He's ok. Do you remember my old boyfriend Mark? Rachel: Yeah. Amy: It's his dad. Rachel: Huh... wow, so he's gotta be... Amy: Old? Yeah! But he travels a lot, so he's hardly ever there. Rachel: Sweety, I gotta tell ya... it sounds a little bit like you like the apartment more than you like... Amy: Myron. Hmm... I told you he was old! Rachel: Oh... sit down, sit down. Oh, honey, you know, I once also almost married somebody that I didn’t love. Do you remember Barry? Amy: Humpf, remember him? How we used to make out all the time after you went to sleep. Rachel: Sometimes just nodding is ok. (pause) Uhm, so but anyway, listen, not marrying Barry was the best decision that I ever, ever made. Honey, you deserve true love. Your soulmate is out there, somewhere. Someone that is your age, that is smart, that is fun and that you care about! Amy: (thinks about it) You’re right, you’re right! I’m gonna do it! Rachel: Ok. Amy: I’m gonna marry Myron and keep looking for Mr Right. Rachel: Ok, let’s keep talking. [ Scene: Madison Square Garden. Mike and Phoebe are walking to their seats.]   Phoebe: Excuse me, anniversary. Excuse me, anniversary. (looking at her ticket). Uhm, sir, could you move your nachos... they’re in my seat. It's my anniversary. (to Mike) Here we are! (Mike nods). Can’t believe it's been a whole year! Mike: I know. This has been the best year... (the crowd starts cheering so he starts yelling) THIS HAS BEEN THE BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE! Phoebe: ME TOO! I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD LOVE SOMEONE THIS MUCH! Mike: I FEEL THE SAME WAY! Phoebe: YOU’RE SO GENEROUS AND KIND AND (crowd stops cheering) YOU'RE AMAZING IN BED (everyone hears it and stare at them.)(to everybody) IT’S OUR ANNIVERSARY! Announcer: Knicks fans, please turn your attention to the big screen on the score board. Someone has a special question to ask. (on the screen there’s written ‘Julie, will you marry me?’ and goes on to show a guy kneeling down in front of a girl holding out a ring to her) Phoebe: Oh how lame... oh, it’s so tacky, and impersonal. Mike: Really? Phoebe: Oh, it’s the worst way to propose! ……